What if I told you that allowing yourself to spend on fun could actually make you better at managing your money?
As a personal finance coach, I spend a fair amount of time reading posts in various online budgeting and personal finances forums. One of the prevailing themes I've noticed over the years is how much guilt people feel about how they spend their money; and how often community members shame others for how they spend/spent their money. We are told to only spend on needs and to ignore the wants. We are expected to stick to very limiting and rigid budgets in order to be successful with money. Well, I've got news for you: rigid budgets break!
How often have we decided to "get our act together" and start a budget, spend a month depriving ourselves of every joyful thing only to feel deflated and like a failure after a month because we still didn't "stick to the budget" like we are supposed to? Instead of giving up, give in! Allow yourself a little fun. Now, I'm not saying you should spend all your money on a new boat and not buy groceries... I'm saying prioritize a little wiggle room and some fun money in your plan.
Yes, I said to prioritize some fun money. Even if you have debt. Even if you have big savings goals. Even if you only have $5 to put in that fun money category. Add some fun! Let me tell you about a time when that $5 could have saved my husband and I a lot of grief.
When we were in our first year of marriage, I told my husband I was struggling to make friends and wanted to go to a work potluck to socialize and see if I could make some friends. I had thought of the cheapest contribution I could think of - a $3 bagged salad kit. Money was tight! We hadn't yet learned to create a proper spending plan - we just knew we should focus on needs. Spending that $3 on a salad for other people meant $3 less to spend on food for ourselves. My husband (who had grown up in a very frugal home) didn't agree with the expense. He suggested I take my lunch to the potluck and not bring anything to share and not eat their food... Well, I ended up in tears. He ended up eventually seeing it from my perspective, but still wasn't super happy about the idea.

Why Fun Money Works
If I had even $5 of my own fun money, I could have bought the salad, gone to the potluck, and had a wonderful time—without upsetting our marriage. That’s when I learned: budgets need room for joy, or they’ll break under the pressure.
Rigid budgets break. When we force ourselves to stick to a spending plan that has no room for enjoyment, it feels like a financial diet. And just like crash diets often lead to binge eating, overly strict budgets often lead to burnout and overspending.
But when we build a little fun into our plan, we create balance. Fun money isn’t just an indulgence—it’s a strategy. Here’s why it works:

• Psychological Relief: Giving yourself permission to spend—even a small amount—releases the guilt that often comes with discretionary spending. Instead of feeling like you’ve "failed," you feel empowered because the spending was intentional.
• A Motivation Boost: Knowing you can enjoy life a little along the way makes it easier to stay on track with the bigger goals, like paying off debt or building savings. Fun money becomes a reward for your discipline.
• Improved Relationships: If you’re budgeting with a partner, fun money removes a major source of tension. When each person has their own category to spend without judgment, it reduces conflict and fosters respect.
• A More Positive Money Mindset: By reframing money as a tool to bring joy (not just survival), you start to see budgeting as a way to live better, not as a punishment.

How to Add Fun Money to Your Plan
What does this look like in your spending plan? If it's just you, add in that fun category, give it a fun name if you want (we call our family fun money "adventures"), and allocate a little money there to begin with. If there are two of you managing your money together, each of you should have a fun money category that you each can spend from without the judgment or criticizing of the other. If you have children or family in your home, create a family fun category to spend on a fun activity from time to time. Things like ice cream out, a movie night, a board game, for whatever your family enjoys doing together. We love movies at our house - we buy them when they are deeply discounted and enjoy them in our own home.
​The amounts you set aside for fun will depend greatly on your own particular situation. Our amounts have fluctuated over the years. We started with $20 each and have been able to increase that as income has increased. Select an amount and adjust as needed to find the right fit for your family situation.
As you start the year, remember: a spending plan isn’t meant to deprive you—it’s meant to support your goals and your happiness. By prioritizing a little fun money, you’ll create a plan that’s not only practical but also sustainable. So, breathe easy, add some joy, and watch how it transforms your financial journey. 

What if the key to financial peace isn’t working harder, but asking smarter?
​Money is complicated, touching every aspect of our lives. Most of us were never taught how to navigate it. We want to do the 'right thing,' but it’s hard to know what that is, especially with so many loud voices online telling us to do it this way or that—sometimes even yelling at us if we don’t. It's difficult when those voices contradict each other. We get no closer to feeling peace and contentment with how we spend our money - only more frustrated.

The wrong questions
It's easy to become anxious and stressed about our money when we are asking ourselves the wrong questions. When you are considering your financial situation, do you find yourself asking questions like these:
What can I put off until later?
Where did all my money go?
How will I cover this emergency?
Why bother planning if nothing goes as expected or there’s never enough?
I can’t face this right now, can I just deal with this later?

What if I told you you already have all the answers, you're just asking the wrong questions?
We all crave clarity around our money. We all want to know what we have to spend and what we need to spend it on. Instead of looking at your bank account and stressing about doing things "right," look within and ask yourself the right questions:
What does this money need to do before I’m paid again?
​This question helps you understand what your priorities are and helps you see the reality of your situation. Focus on the priorities and assign some of your money the job of taking care of those priorities. 
What larger, less frequent spending do I need to prepare for?
​How many times have we been hit with a car repair or medical bill we were not expecting? By giving some of our money the job of preparing for these, we’ll be ready; so when those unexpected (and even expected - hello Christmas) expenses come up, we are ready for them? 
What can I set aside for next month’s spending?
​Starting a new month already fully funded can bring incredible peace. If we give some dollars the job of covering next month’s expenses, we create a financial buffer—and more flexibility.
What goals, large or small, do I want to prioritize?
​Is there a vacation you're wanting to take? Some home repairs you're wanting to make? Or a specific amount you want in the bank? (Rhyming was not intentional, but hey, I'll go with it!) Maybe you love to plant flowers in your yard every spring or to go skiing with the family every winter. Start now and give some dollars the job of paying for those priorities too. Whatever your personal goals are, make them a priority and go for it!
What changes do I need to make, if any?
​We all know the phrase from the old poem "The best laid plans of mice and men go awry." We can have the perfect plan for our money, and then something will come up, and a priority will change. Does that mean we are stuck? No, it means we can take the opportunity to shift our plan to align with the new priority. We are the ones in charge. We get to decide what we want to do with our money. Does it mean we've failed if we change our plan in the middle of everything? No! It means we got new information and our priorities shifted. That's ok. Make the changes you need to make as you go.

Spenfulness
​Asking ourselves the right questions are going to lead to clarity and contentment with our money. As we give every dollar a job to do in our plan, we can have the confidence to spend in line with our priorities.
We work hard for our money. We put our energy, our time, ourselves into our work. In exchange, we get money. That money is us. We want the ability to spend it, with confidence, on those things that are most important to us. It's called personal finance for a reason - it's personal.
As we gain clarity and confidence, we can feel that oh so wonderful feeling of spendfulness - a state of alignment between how you spend your
money and the life you want to live. Spendfulness doesn’t mean perfection—it means intentionality. It’s about aligning your spending with the things that matter most to you.
What's the next step you can take on your financial journey to get you to the spendfulness kind of life you want to live? Start with one of these five questions and watch how it transforms your mindset—and your money.