"I make plenty of money. I don't need a budget." This is a phrase I've heard more than once. When I hear this, I know that person does not understand what a budget is. True budgeting is not about restricting your spending, it's about making intentional financial choices. In a 2022 Lending Club report, we see that even high earners - earning over $100,000 - are living paycheck to paycheck, which means if they were to miss a paycheck, they wouldn't be able to keep up their lifestyle. Instead of thinking of a budget as something that is restrictive and a joy-killer, think of it as just having a plan for your spending. Instead of a budget, let's call it a spending plan.
​Lifestyle Creep Is Real
Earning more money is great, but typically when we earn more, we spend more - lifestyle creep is real. When one of my clients was working as an executive officer for a tech company, he noticed that all the other officers drove fancy expensive cars. He was even teased by the other officers about the simple, basic car he drove, calling it a teenager car. When it came down to it, could he afford to buy whatever car he might want? Yes. Was it part of his overall spending plan? No. He knew what he wanted his money to do, and buying a fancy car to impress others wasn't it. Having a spending plan helps prevent the creep.
High Income Doesn't Equal Wealth
​There's a difference between your income and your net worth. Your net worth is all of your assets minus your liabilities. If you have taken on a lot of debt because you can "afford the payments," that can hurt your net worth. Living paycheck to paycheck to pay for your lifestyle doesn't allow much room for saving and increasing your net worth. Having a spending plan allows you to ensure money is being allocated toward building wealth, not just funding lifestyle upgrades. Even with a high income, your ability to weather financial storms can be compromised if you’re not saving or investing strategically.
​Unexpected Expenses & Lifestyle Changes
 Even high-earners, especially in our current climate, face financial surprises -- job loss, economic downturns, family emergencies, and so much more can adversely affect our finances. Having a priorities-driven spending plan in place, ensures you are ready when those surprises happen. Not only can you prepare yourself for surprises, you can prepare yourself to walk away from the grind and live your dream life (if that's what you want). Taking charge of your finances gives you choices.
​Aligning Spending with Priorities
​More income can give us more opportunities to be intentional with our spending. Having a plan in place ensures our money is going toward what truly matters -- travel, philanthropy, investments, family experiences, or whatever your spendful heart desires. Without a plan, you don't have the same confidence -- knowing you can spend and still pay for the necessities. A clear spending plan doesn’t just keep you from overspending -- it helps you make decisions that truly align with your life’s values and goals.
​Conclusion
​Again, we are not talking about restricting your spending, we are talking about the freedom to do the things you want to do with your money. Don't just let all that hard-earned money blindly fall through your fingers. Give it a try for just one month. Make a plan for where you want your money to go, track where your money goes, and see how it changes your confidence, your savings, and your ability to live the life you truly want.

February is often about hearts, chocolates, and showing love to those who matter most. But what if, this year, you showed a little love to your finances? Imagine ending each month feeling excited—not anxious—about where your money went and actually falling in love with how you spend your money. It’s possible! Let's talk about how.
Early in our marriage, when my husband was the sole provider for our growing family, we felt like he earned plenty of money to  pay for the basics of life and even some extra on dreams and goals. However, we'd get to the end of each month and ask, "Where did all our hard-earned money go?" We would end up in overdraft nearly every month! And we weren't getting any closer to those dreams and goals. It was a very frustrating and anger inducing place to be in. Now, years later, after learning how to align our spending with our values, we have fallen in love with how we spend our money.

How can you fall in love with how you spend your money?
Step one: Make a spending plan for all of your money.
Step two: Spend your money
Step three: Track your spending (YNAB is a great tool for this)
Step four: Reflect on your spending
Step five: Adjust your spending plan as needed

Make a spending plan for all of your money
Put another way, give every dollar you have a job in your spending plan. Include your savings and your checking accounts. If we leave our savings in an ambiguous pile in our savings account and just call it "savings," we have a habit of saying things like, "Well, we weren't expecting that. We'll have to take it form savings." "There is an amazing sale on this [fill in the blank], but we don't have the money, we'll have to take it from savings." "We want to go on that vacation, but we'll have to dip into savings." Before you know it, that "savings" pile quietly disappears. However, when we give some of those savings dollars the job of "Christmas," or "vacation," or "new boat," we are less likely to "take from our savings." Giving our dollars specific jobs protects them and allow us to use them for the job we gave them.
When making your spending plan, be sure to keep your priorities and values in mind. If you are sending money on anything that you really don't like, eliminate it or reduce it. For example, if you're making debt payments every month, is there a way to pay more to get rid of it sooner, so you don't have that hanging over your head? Or are you paying for so many subscriptions, you've lost track? There could be many things that we spend our money on out of habit, or because our friends/family spend their money that way, that can be eliminated from our habitual spending. Make sure each of your dollars has a job that either is paying for a necessity or is for something that brings you joy and contentment.

Spend your money
You can't fall in love with how you spend without spending. I'm not saying "don't save your money." Money is fungible. All dollars are savings dollars and all dollars are spending dollars. The difference is the timing around when the money is spent. Even if you are intentionally saving, all money will eventually be spent - either by you or by those you leave it to when you pass away. It will be spent. So if it's all going to be spent, let's be sure we spend it on things that are really important to us.

Track your spending
Once you have your spending plan and you're living life and spending your money, you want to track how you spent it. This is how we make sure our money is going where we want it to go. Instead of looking at a lump sum in our checking account, we want to know what that money is doing for us. We need to know how much of that money is left to spend on groceries, or eating out, or our next vacation. Tracking our spending ensures we know exactly how much we have left to spend in one area and still be confident that we can pay for all the other priorities. This was the key that helped us stop going into overdraft nearly every month - track the spending and check the budget!

Reflect on your spending
As we are going along, we will want to review our spending. Are we making progress towards our goals? Have our priorities changed, and therefore we need to change our spending plan to match? Priories may change over time, and that's fine. As they change, we need to be aware of that and keep our spending plan aligned with our priorities. The start of a new year or quarter is a great time to check in on our spending plan. Are our dollars going towards our priorities, or do we need to adjust? Have you noticed a trend to spend more on things that are more of a convenience than a priority? Notice it, adjust and keep going.

Adjust your spending plan as needed
​Our spending plan is just that - a plan. Sometimes plans change. When we made our plan, that was the best intention for our money at that time with the information we had. Sometimes we get new information.
In our spending plan, we have a certain amount of money set aside each month for dining out. However, I can remember a day when I was raising small children and I was having one of those overwhelming "mom days." Some of you may know what I mean. By the time it was time to make dinner, I just didn't have the bandwidth to make it happen. I really just wanted to order a pizza and be done with it. I checked the budget, and our dining out money was gone. I was very frustrated to say the least! It took everything I had, but I made something for dinner and was not my best self for my family the rest of the day.
If I had known then what I know now, I would have chosen to move money from somewhere else in the spending plan, order the pizza and had a better night with my family - quality family time is more important to me than sticking with a rigid budget.
Making adjustments as you go is the best way to stick with a budget/spending plan along the way. It's also a great way to fall in love with how you spend your money.

Falling in love with how you spend your money isn't about perfection—it's about creating a life where your money reflects your values, priorities, and dreams. It's giving yourself the grace to adjust when life throws surprises your way and celebrating the wins when your spending aligns with what matters most to you. As you move forward, remember: your spending plan is a living, breathing guide, not a rigid set of rules. So this February, as you're celebrating love with those around you, take a moment to appreciate the relationship you're building with your money. After all, when you love how you spend, you're investing in a life full of peace, confidence, and joy.

What if I told you that allowing yourself to spend on fun could actually make you better at managing your money?
As a personal finance coach, I spend a fair amount of time reading posts in various online budgeting and personal finances forums. One of the prevailing themes I've noticed over the years is how much guilt people feel about how they spend their money; and how often community members shame others for how they spend/spent their money. We are told to only spend on needs and to ignore the wants. We are expected to stick to very limiting and rigid budgets in order to be successful with money. Well, I've got news for you: rigid budgets break!
How often have we decided to "get our act together" and start a budget, spend a month depriving ourselves of every joyful thing only to feel deflated and like a failure after a month because we still didn't "stick to the budget" like we are supposed to? Instead of giving up, give in! Allow yourself a little fun. Now, I'm not saying you should spend all your money on a new boat and not buy groceries... I'm saying prioritize a little wiggle room and some fun money in your plan.
Yes, I said to prioritize some fun money. Even if you have debt. Even if you have big savings goals. Even if you only have $5 to put in that fun money category. Add some fun! Let me tell you about a time when that $5 could have saved my husband and I a lot of grief.
When we were in our first year of marriage, I told my husband I was struggling to make friends and wanted to go to a work potluck to socialize and see if I could make some friends. I had thought of the cheapest contribution I could think of - a $3 bagged salad kit. Money was tight! We hadn't yet learned to create a proper spending plan - we just knew we should focus on needs. Spending that $3 on a salad for other people meant $3 less to spend on food for ourselves. My husband (who had grown up in a very frugal home) didn't agree with the expense. He suggested I take my lunch to the potluck and not bring anything to share and not eat their food... Well, I ended up in tears. He ended up eventually seeing it from my perspective, but still wasn't super happy about the idea.

Why Fun Money Works
If I had even $5 of my own fun money, I could have bought the salad, gone to the potluck, and had a wonderful time—without upsetting our marriage. That’s when I learned: budgets need room for joy, or they’ll break under the pressure.
Rigid budgets break. When we force ourselves to stick to a spending plan that has no room for enjoyment, it feels like a financial diet. And just like crash diets often lead to binge eating, overly strict budgets often lead to burnout and overspending.
But when we build a little fun into our plan, we create balance. Fun money isn’t just an indulgence—it’s a strategy. Here’s why it works:

• Psychological Relief: Giving yourself permission to spend—even a small amount—releases the guilt that often comes with discretionary spending. Instead of feeling like you’ve "failed," you feel empowered because the spending was intentional.
• A Motivation Boost: Knowing you can enjoy life a little along the way makes it easier to stay on track with the bigger goals, like paying off debt or building savings. Fun money becomes a reward for your discipline.
• Improved Relationships: If you’re budgeting with a partner, fun money removes a major source of tension. When each person has their own category to spend without judgment, it reduces conflict and fosters respect.
• A More Positive Money Mindset: By reframing money as a tool to bring joy (not just survival), you start to see budgeting as a way to live better, not as a punishment.

How to Add Fun Money to Your Plan
What does this look like in your spending plan? If it's just you, add in that fun category, give it a fun name if you want (we call our family fun money "adventures"), and allocate a little money there to begin with. If there are two of you managing your money together, each of you should have a fun money category that you each can spend from without the judgment or criticizing of the other. If you have children or family in your home, create a family fun category to spend on a fun activity from time to time. Things like ice cream out, a movie night, a board game, for whatever your family enjoys doing together. We love movies at our house - we buy them when they are deeply discounted and enjoy them in our own home.
​The amounts you set aside for fun will depend greatly on your own particular situation. Our amounts have fluctuated over the years. We started with $20 each and have been able to increase that as income has increased. Select an amount and adjust as needed to find the right fit for your family situation.
As you start the year, remember: a spending plan isn’t meant to deprive you—it’s meant to support your goals and your happiness. By prioritizing a little fun money, you’ll create a plan that’s not only practical but also sustainable. So, breathe easy, add some joy, and watch how it transforms your financial journey. 

What if the key to financial peace isn’t working harder, but asking smarter?
​Money is complicated, touching every aspect of our lives. Most of us were never taught how to navigate it. We want to do the 'right thing,' but it’s hard to know what that is, especially with so many loud voices online telling us to do it this way or that—sometimes even yelling at us if we don’t. It's difficult when those voices contradict each other. We get no closer to feeling peace and contentment with how we spend our money - only more frustrated.

The wrong questions
It's easy to become anxious and stressed about our money when we are asking ourselves the wrong questions. When you are considering your financial situation, do you find yourself asking questions like these:
What can I put off until later?
Where did all my money go?
How will I cover this emergency?
Why bother planning if nothing goes as expected or there’s never enough?
I can’t face this right now, can I just deal with this later?

What if I told you you already have all the answers, you're just asking the wrong questions?
We all crave clarity around our money. We all want to know what we have to spend and what we need to spend it on. Instead of looking at your bank account and stressing about doing things "right," look within and ask yourself the right questions:
What does this money need to do before I’m paid again?
​This question helps you understand what your priorities are and helps you see the reality of your situation. Focus on the priorities and assign some of your money the job of taking care of those priorities. 
What larger, less frequent spending do I need to prepare for?
​How many times have we been hit with a car repair or medical bill we were not expecting? By giving some of our money the job of preparing for these, we’ll be ready; so when those unexpected (and even expected - hello Christmas) expenses come up, we are ready for them? 
What can I set aside for next month’s spending?
​Starting a new month already fully funded can bring incredible peace. If we give some dollars the job of covering next month’s expenses, we create a financial buffer—and more flexibility.
What goals, large or small, do I want to prioritize?
​Is there a vacation you're wanting to take? Some home repairs you're wanting to make? Or a specific amount you want in the bank? (Rhyming was not intentional, but hey, I'll go with it!) Maybe you love to plant flowers in your yard every spring or to go skiing with the family every winter. Start now and give some dollars the job of paying for those priorities too. Whatever your personal goals are, make them a priority and go for it!
What changes do I need to make, if any?
​We all know the phrase from the old poem "The best laid plans of mice and men go awry." We can have the perfect plan for our money, and then something will come up, and a priority will change. Does that mean we are stuck? No, it means we can take the opportunity to shift our plan to align with the new priority. We are the ones in charge. We get to decide what we want to do with our money. Does it mean we've failed if we change our plan in the middle of everything? No! It means we got new information and our priorities shifted. That's ok. Make the changes you need to make as you go.

Spenfulness
​Asking ourselves the right questions are going to lead to clarity and contentment with our money. As we give every dollar a job to do in our plan, we can have the confidence to spend in line with our priorities.
We work hard for our money. We put our energy, our time, ourselves into our work. In exchange, we get money. That money is us. We want the ability to spend it, with confidence, on those things that are most important to us. It's called personal finance for a reason - it's personal.
As we gain clarity and confidence, we can feel that oh so wonderful feeling of spendfulness - a state of alignment between how you spend your
money and the life you want to live. Spendfulness doesn’t mean perfection—it means intentionality. It’s about aligning your spending with the things that matter most to you.
What's the next step you can take on your financial journey to get you to the spendfulness kind of life you want to live? Start with one of these five questions and watch how it transforms your mindset—and your money.