What if the key to financial peace isn’t working harder, but asking smarter?
Money is complicated, touching every aspect of our lives. Most of us were never taught how to navigate it. We want to do the 'right thing,' but it’s hard to know what that is, especially with so many loud voices online telling us to do it this way or that—sometimes even yelling at us if we don’t. It's difficult when those voices contradict each other. We get no closer to feeling peace and contentment with how we spend our money - only more frustrated. The wrong questions It's easy to become anxious and stressed about our money when we are asking ourselves the wrong questions. When you are considering your financial situation, do you find yourself asking questions like these: What can I put off until later? Where did all my money go? How will I cover this emergency? Why bother planning if nothing goes as expected or there’s never enough? I can’t face this right now, can I just deal with this later? What if I told you you already have all the answers, you're just asking the wrong questions? We all crave clarity around our money. We all want to know what we have to spend and what we need to spend it on. Instead of looking at your bank account and stressing about doing things "right," look within and ask yourself the right questions: What does this money need to do before I’m paid again? This question helps you understand what your priorities are and helps you see the reality of your situation. Focus on the priorities and assign some of your money the job of taking care of those priorities. What larger, less frequent spending do I need to prepare for? How many times have we been hit with a car repair or medical bill we were not expecting? By giving some of our money the job of preparing for these, we’ll be ready; so when those unexpected (and even expected - hello Christmas) expenses come up, we are ready for them? What can I set aside for next month’s spending? Starting a new month already fully funded can bring incredible peace. If we give some dollars the job of covering next month’s expenses, we create a financial buffer—and more flexibility. What goals, large or small, do I want to prioritize? Is there a vacation you're wanting to take? Some home repairs you're wanting to make? Or a specific amount you want in the bank? (Rhyming was not intentional, but hey, I'll go with it!) Maybe you love to plant flowers in your yard every spring or to go skiing with the family every winter. Start now and give some dollars the job of paying for those priorities too. Whatever your personal goals are, make them a priority and go for it! What changes do I need to make, if any? We all know the phrase from the old poem "The best laid plans of mice and men go awry." We can have the perfect plan for our money, and then something will come up, and a priority will change. Does that mean we are stuck? No, it means we can take the opportunity to shift our plan to align with the new priority. We are the ones in charge. We get to decide what we want to do with our money. Does it mean we've failed if we change our plan in the middle of everything? No! It means we got new information and our priorities shifted. That's ok. Make the changes you need to make as you go. Spenfulness Asking ourselves the right questions are going to lead to clarity and contentment with our money. As we give every dollar a job to do in our plan, we can have the confidence to spend in line with our priorities. We work hard for our money. We put our energy, our time, ourselves into our work. In exchange, we get money. That money is us. We want the ability to spend it, with confidence, on those things that are most important to us. It's called personal finance for a reason - it's personal. As we gain clarity and confidence, we can feel that oh so wonderful feeling of spendfulness - a state of alignment between how you spend your money and the life you want to live. Spendfulness doesn’t mean perfection—it means intentionality. It’s about aligning your spending with the things that matter most to you. What's the next step you can take on your financial journey to get you to the spendfulness kind of life you want to live? Start with one of these five questions and watch how it transforms your mindset—and your money.
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If there's one thing I've learned in nearly a decade of coaching people with their spending habits, it's this: money is as emotional as it is logical. We like to think it's all about the numbers, but it's tangled up in feelings—especially guilt. Most of us carry guilt around how we spend or manage money, whether from feeling like we don't have enough, regretting past purchases, or comparing ourselves to others. But today, I want to talk about a mindset shift: a way to break the guilt cycle and replace it with a more empowering cycle of planning, spending, and reflecting.
This guilt often comes from the spend > track > regret cycle. It's when we make a purchase in the moment, track it after the fact, and only then realize it wasn’t the best choice. We didn’t plan for it, and now we regret it. Maybe we saw something we wanted (or felt like we needed) and bought it impulsively. Then we have something more important come up that needs to be paid for. We realize we already spent the money. Then we regret the spending. Or it may look like seeing something we need or want, spending the money, later realizing the item could have cost less elsewhere if we had done our research, then we regret and feel guilt about the spending. One of the biggest ones my husband and I experienced was with a water softener. Just after our first child was born, we had a water softener salesman show up at our door. Being young and still not very experienced with door to door salesmen, we let him in. He used our new baby to tug on our heartstrings and we agreed to do a whole house system with a water softener and RO water spout in the kitchen. When all was said and done, we went to Lowes and found out that we could have gotten the same things for a quarter of the price. Boy did we feel stupid! We still look back and regret that one, but we’ve had to learn to let it go. That’s when we realized: spending guilt and frustration can cloud our judgment, making us doubt ourselves. But practicing self-compassion, even after mistakes, helps break that cycle. The water softener example was a large one, but we have had many such regretful spending moments over the years. We had a lot of shame over going into overdraft each month, asking family for a loan, and much more. Over time, with a lot of trial and error, we learned there is a better cycle to be in. The plan > spend > reflect cycle. With this cycle, we plan our spending BEFORE we spend. We think of all the things we need our money to do for us - going beyond just the day to day, monthly spending. We plan for things like Christmas, car registrations, school fees, and yearly subscriptions year round - not just before they happen. We plan on emergencies or other unexpected things happening. We even have a plan for our kids' weddings before any of them are even close to being married. Making this plan, having it all laid out in front of us, helps us spend with confidence. We know we can buy that pizza or pay for that car repair and still be able to pay for all of our other expenses - because we have it all planned out. Now, don't get me wrong, we were not planning on weddings and the like right off the bat, but we stuck with what we knew we needed now and in the near future. As more and more things got funded, we were able to expand to include more things in our spending plan. The key difference here is that with the plan > spend > reflect cycle, your spending aligns with what matters most to you—because you planned for it ahead of time. Instead of reacting and regretting, you're in control, making intentional choices that align with your goals. And that’s what takes guilt out of the equation. If we had been following this plan back with that door to door salesman, we would have known that it wasn't part of our plan. We could have updated our plan to include it, done our research, and done it much more cheaply and intentionaly when we were actually ready for that expense. After we spend, we can reflect on our purchases and not have that same feeling of guilt and shame. Reflection doesn’t mean beating yourself up over past choices. It’s about learning from them and making tweaks to your plan so that you can get even closer to your goals next time. If something didn’t go as planned, adjust and move forward. This is all part of the process. If you really want to kick spending guilt to the curb, start today by giving every dollar a job. Plan for each dollar, track your spending, and make sure it lines up with that plan. After a week or so of spending, look back. Is your spending in line with what's important to you? If it is, keep going. If it's not, adjust, re-plan, and keep going. Remember, no one taught you how to do this. You can't magically know something you were never taught. You'e got this! When we talk about and think about money, it can evoke very strong emotions. Sometimes we want to avoid it altogether. Even when we earn enough for our needs, we feel like it's still not enough. In fact, 73% of Americans rank their finances as the number one cause of stress, according to a survey from the American Psychological Association (APA). Often, we feel overwhelmed and stressed. When I talk with people, rarely do they feel hope and joy in their financial situations. Today, I want to dive into some of these emotions and how they can present within the context of money addictions.
1. Spending Addiction Many of us are familiar with the concept of spending addiction. People who suffer from this often feel the need to spend any money they get and more, usually in an attempt to feel better. This can be seen in individuals who have experienced financial abuse in the past, where they weren't allowed to spend. Once they're free to spend, it can get out of control. For those dealing with spending addiction, it's essential to seek help and begin by creating a realistic budget. But more than that, using tools like the SMART spending method can help you make intentional choices and curb unnecessary spending. George Kamel’s SMART spending concept offers a simple yet powerful framework:
Did you know? According to a 2023 study, approximately 6% of the U.S. population may struggle with compulsive buying disorder, with women being disproportionately affected. 2. Debt Addiction Debt addiction can wreak havoc on financial health. It often looks like someone constantly opening new lines of credit—credit cards, personal loans, payday loans—and using one to pay off another. This behavior often leads to a vicious cycle of debt accumulation, poor credit, and in extreme cases, bankruptcy. For help:
3. Financial Codependence Financial codependence occurs when individuals feel compelled to give money to others, even to their own financial detriment. A person with this addiction might continually provide financial assistance to friends or family members, draining their own resources. This can lead to stress, resentment, and eventual financial ruin. Overcoming financial codependence involves:
4. Money Hoarding At the other end of the spectrum from these mentioned addictions is money hoarding. This goes beyond simply saving towards goals or being wise with your money. It’s an obsession with holding onto every dollar, driven often by fear. People who hoard money may fear they will never have enough, or that financial security is always just out of reach. This fear can prevent them from spending on even small things that would bring joy or comfort. They may avoid social activities, turn down opportunities to celebrate with friends or family, or refuse to invest in experiences—all because of an overwhelming fear of future financial instability. Relationships can strain as they distance themselves from others to protect their financial resources. To overcome money hoarding:
5. Deprivation Addiction Deprivation addiction looks like intentionally living on the bare minimum, avoiding raises, promotions, or investments that could improve your financial situation. People who exhibit this behavior often feel unworthy of having more, or believe that living with less is a moral virtue. If you struggle with deprivation addiction:
6. Money Hunger On the other end of the spectrum is money hunger—an obsession with constantly seeking more income, new investments, or business opportunities. While ambition is not inherently bad, it can become problematic when it overshadows other aspects of life, like relationships or mental health. If you find yourself consumed by the pursuit of more money:
Money addictions, like any other addiction, can be overwhelming and difficult to manage, but they are not impossible to overcome. Whether it’s working with a financial coach, seeking therapy, or joining a support group, there are many ways to regain control. The key is recognizing these patterns and addressing them before they damage your financial future, relationships, or mental health. If you're struggling with any of these addictions or know someone who is, don’t hesitate to reach out to a professional therapist or to your financial coach. I’m here to help guide you to financial clarity and empowerment. You read that right... I can't stop looking at my budget. And here's why.
Earlier this year, my husband made a huge life decision—he left his 21-year career to pursue a more intentional life, more aligned with personal interests. We LOVED the time we had together during those months of “retirement.” But we also knew it couldn’t last forever. Eventually, we'd need health insurance, and, well... the cash would run out. After four wonderful months together, he accepted a government job to help meet our family’s needs. Now, working for the government is very different from working in the tech industry. One of the biggest differences? The pay—it was a significant cut. To say I was nervous is an understatement. We had commitments and family traditions we cherished, and I didn't want to lose them. But with so much less money coming in, how could we make it work? I even started subscribing to job listings for places I wouldn’t mind working (YNAB, can you hear me?), just in case. I was prepared to give up doing what I love—helping people take control of their finances—if it came down to it. We didn't want to make any big budget changes until that first paycheck arrived and we knew what we were working with. When it finally did come, I sat down, crunched the numbers, and something amazing happened: I realized that, with a few minor tweaks, we could live within our new income without a problem. I was so excited to share the news with my husband! That evening, we had a little budget date. I walked him through my plan, and together, we went through the budget line by line—tweaking here, adjusting there—until everything fit. When we were done, I felt an incredible sense of relief. We wouldn’t have to give up our commitments, our favorite traditions, or the things that mattered most to us. That clarity gave me so much peace and hope, I couldn’t stop looking at the budget. Even now, I find myself opening it up just to admire it. It’s like looking at a piece of art—it represents security, freedom, and the knowledge that we’re going to be okay. Not to mention, I can still keep focusing on my business and helping others find the same peace and hope with their finances. When people tell me they don’t need a budget, or that budgets are too restrictive, I can’t help but smile. For me, a budget brings freedom, not restrictions. It’s what allows me to feel calm and confident about the future. And that’s made all the difference. For the past several months, I have enjoyed serving my clients through, not only our one-on-one sessions, but also during my client-only open office hours each month. Since COVID and all the financial repercussions of that time, more and more people are struggling to make ends meet and are not sure how to get the help they need. With this in mind, I’ve decided to open up my office hours to anyone—client or not—who could use a little coaching to help them fall in love with how they spend their money.
Money is so ingrained in our daily lives that sometimes we overlook the power it has. So many of our daily choices, both big and small, are influenced by our financial situation, often without us even realizing it. Whether it's deciding what to eat, where to live, or how to spend our leisure time, money plays a role in shaping our experiences. When we’re not mindful of how we spend our money, it can lead to stress, uncertainty, and a sense of being out of control. But what if we could change that? What if, instead of feeling anxious about our finances, we could feel confident and at peace? What if we could *fall in love* with the way we spend our money? As the leaves begin to change and fall approaches, it’s the perfect time to reassess our relationship with money and create a spending plan that aligns with our values and goals. Just like the fall season encourages us to cozy up and enjoy the beauty around us, it can also be a time to embrace a new mindset about our finances. When we fall in love with our spending, we become more intentional, thoughtful, and empowered in our choices. We spend with confidence, knowing that our money is working for us, not against us. My open office hours are designed to provide a space where you can explore your financial habits, ask questions, and receive guidance on how to create a spending plan that brings you peace of mind. Whether you’re looking to tackle debt, save for a big purchase, or simply gain more control over your day-to-day spending, these sessions are here to support you on your journey. I also encourage you to spread the word to family and friends who might benefit from this opportunity. Financial peace is something everyone deserves, and by inviting those close to you, you can help them embark on their own path to falling in love with their spending. So, as we welcome the fall season, I invite you to join me in falling in love with the way you spend your money. Let’s work together to create a financial plan that gives you confidence, clarity, and the peace of mind you deserve. Office hours will be held every second Wednesday of the month at 10:00am MT (noon on the East Coast and 9:00am on the West Coast). There is no prearranged agenda or topic. Just come, raise your hand, and chat with me. Hope to see you in my office soon! When it comes to personal finance, it's easy to get caught up in the minutiae of tracking every penny and managing day-to-day expenses. However, without a clear sense of direction, budgeting can feel like a tedious chore rather than a tool for achieving your dreams. That's why it's crucial to begin with the end in mind. This approach not only makes budgeting more meaningful but also ensures that your spending aligns with your values and priorities.
The Power of Dreaming At the heart of beginning with the end in mind is the concept of dreaming. What do you envision for your future? Do you dream of traveling the world, owning a home, starting a business, or simply achieving financial independence? These dreams provide a roadmap for your financial journey. By identifying your long-term goals, you can create a spending plan that supports and propels you toward those aspirations. Aligning Spending with Values Once you've identified your dreams, it's time to dig deeper into your values. What truly matters to you? Is it security, freedom, family, adventure, or personal growth? Understanding your core values helps you prioritize your spending in a way that brings you closer to your goals and increases your overall satisfaction with how you manage your money. But how do you discover what your values truly are? Here are a few steps to get started: 1. Reflect on Past Experiences: Think about times when you felt happiest and most fulfilled. What were you doing? Who were you with? These moments can provide clues about your core values. 2. Identify Non-Negotiables: Consider the aspects of your life that you are unwilling to compromise on. These are often closely tied to your values. 3. Set Priorities: Make a list of what is most important to you in different areas of your life, such as relationships, career, health, and personal growth. This will help you see where your values lie. Tools to Keep You on Track: YNAB One of the best tools to ensure your spending aligns with your values and priorities is You Need a Budget (YNAB). YNAB is more than just a budgeting app; it's a methodology that helps you take control of your money and make intentional spending decisions. YNAB operates on four key principles: 1. Give Every Dollar a Job: This principle encourages you to allocate every dollar you earn to a specific purpose, ensuring your money is working towards your goals. 2. Embrace Your True Expenses: YNAB helps you plan for irregular expenses by breaking them down into manageable monthly amounts. 3. Roll with the Punches: Life is unpredictable, and YNAB teaches you to adjust your budget as needed without feeling like you've failed. 4. Age Your Money: By living on last month's income, you can break the paycheck-to-paycheck cycle and gain more financial stability. Falling in Love with How You Spend Your Money Ultimately, the goal of budgeting is to fall in love with how you spend your money. When your spending aligns with your values and priorities, every dollar spent brings you closer to your dreams and enhances your sense of fulfillment. By beginning with the end in mind, you transform budgeting from a mundane task into a powerful tool for living a life that truly reflects what matters most to you. Conclusion Starting with the end in mind is not just a strategy for budgeting—it's a mindset shift that can transform your entire approach to money management. By dreaming big, identifying your values, and using tools like YNAB to stay on track, you can create a spending plan that not only supports your goals but also brings joy and satisfaction to your financial journey. Remember, the key is to fall in love with how you spend your money and make every dollar count towards a life you love. We Did a Thing! At the end of May, we made a long-time dream come true. For years, I've been wanting to take my kids to see the majestic Redwoods. Yet, it never seemed to become a top priority. Other opportunities and priorities for our time and money always seemed to get in the way. But earlier this year, I had an epiphany: this HAD to be the year and the last week of May HAD to be the time. Why the urgency? Our family is rapidly growing and changing. My oldest will soon be moving into her first apartment (it's in our basement, but it's still a significant change). Our second just graduated from high school and is heading into new and time-consuming adventures in the fall. Our youngest will be starting high school. And my husband, though retired from his former company, is exploring new fulfilling work opportunities outside the home. This was our window, and I knew we had to seize it. We had some money in our YNAB budget set aside for vacations. So, one afternoon in the midst of our crazy May, my husband and I did some research and decided that driving the 870 miles and camping would be the most affordable option. We booked the campsite and told our kids to request time off work. We were all super excited for this adventure, even our daughter who has an aversion to bugs and dirt! The weeks leading up to the trip were packed with end-of-school-year events, finals, graduations, and navigating semi-retired life. It was a busy and stressful time, but whenever one of us mentioned the trip, we all got a hopeful look of excitement, knowing that soon we'd be relaxing in the beautiful surroundings of the Redwoods. Folks, we were NOT disappointed! It was a dream vacation. With minimal phone reception, we had the chance to truly explore and enjoy the area and reconnect with each other without the distraction of devices. We enjoyed some amazing hikes, great food, and the peace and quiet that the area offered. We even drove our SUV through a tree! The morning we packed up to leave, I got a little teary-eyed. This was probably the last vacation we would have like this with our family as it is now. I didn't want to leave. If you know me, hearing me say I didn't want to leave CAMPING is saying something. The word that keeps coming to mind when I think of this trip is "sacred." The place, the time, the entire experience felt sacred.
So why am I sharing this with you? Many money gurus would criticize our choice to take this trip. We don't currently have a steady family income coming in. That week was the last week we had medical insurance coverage. We don't have a solid plan yet for replacing the steady income we've enjoyed for the last 21 years. To take that time and spend that money could be seen as reckless by many financial experts. We should be saving that money. We should be using our time to find steady income. We should have our priorities aligned with what they view as important for financial success. Nope! The best way to find true financial freedom is to ensure your spending aligns with your own priorities and values. We value our family time, so that's where we want our money to go – spending time with family. Now, I'm not advocating for the "I value a trip to Italy with my family, so I'm going to go into more debt to pay for it" philosophy. It's still crucial to avoid debt for many reasons, especially because it doesn't add to your financial freedom; it adds to your slavery. So, if it's something you truly value, save up the money, find ways to make it more affordable, and do the thing! Taking this trip was a priority for us, and it was worth every penny. It reinforced what we value most: our time together. So, as you plan your finances, remember to prioritize what truly matters to you. Spend intentionally, and you'll find both joy and financial freedom. For the past 21 years, my husband, Lance, has been dedicated to the same company. He started at the ground level as a contract equipment installer, and when he left, he held the position of Chief Relationship Officer. With 23.5 years of marriage under our belts, Lance's departure from the company marks a significant change for our family.
We've always known the possibility of job loss or change could happen, and have worked over the years to be prepared for that possibility. As Lance began more seriously contemplating leaving, we understood the importance of preparing ourselves for this major life transition. Big life changes—whether it's marriage, welcoming a new baby, switching careers, going through a divorce, or retiring—require careful financial planning. Here are some steps we took to prepare ourselves financially for this significant shift:
As I write this, it's only been a week since Lance bid farewell to his office and drove his final commute home. Already, the transformation is evident—he's less stressed, happier, and brimming with excitement for our future. While uncertainties still loom, we're eagerly embracing the next chapter of our lives. Our years of financial planning have laid a solid foundation, and we're ready to navigate whatever comes our way. Gone are the days of puzzling over YNAB's target types! For years, we've all asked ourselves. Which target type for what expense? How to adjust for more funds? How to tailor targets so it does what I expect it to do? Now, YNAB simplifies targets. Whether you are online or mobile, just specify frequency, amount, due date, and action for the next interval. Easy, isn't it? If you haven't seen it yet, anticipate it in your budget soon! Gone are the days of puzzling over YNAB's target types! For years, they've left users scratching their heads. Which one for what expense? How to adjust for more funds? How to tailor targets? Now, YNAB simplifies targets. Just specify frequency, amount, timing, and action for the next interval. Easy, isn't it? If you haven't seen it yet, anticipate it in your budget soon! Do you want to meet to go over your targets and learn the new way of doing things? Let's set up a time to chat! Do you want to learn more about targets on your own? Check out YNAB's how-to!
While we're not typically big spenders, the no-spend month prompted us to rethink our purchases, emphasizing intentionality over impulse buys. Date Nights Initially, our date nights were more creative and elaborate, filled with planning, shopping (for a few fresh ingredients) and cooking together. I even made the table look a little more special than usual. However, as the month progressed, we found joy in simpler pleasures like homemade popcorn and ice cream. That counts as dinner, right? Family Vacation Despite the no-spend commitment, we still enjoyed our pre-planned family Christmas vacation. It had been planned and mostly paid for months earlier. Tangent: We decided as a family a few years ago to buy less Christmas gifts and spend most of our Christmas budget on a family trip instead. Opting for quality time instead of quantity of gifts has been a nice change. Tangent over. We opted for snacks and cold cereal from the grocery store rather than eating out every meal. We chose free activities in the area and the only souvenirs we brought home were some dirt, pictures and fun memories. Kids' Perspective
When I asked my kids about the no-spend month, they expressed that it didn't feel significantly different for them. It seems they've grown accustomed to adhering to our spending plan and hearing, "not right now." Husband's Reflection My husband, who was the instigator of this little experiment had this to say, “I found myself holding back on what would otherwise be impulsive buys. It made me think about what I really needed vs wanted.” He held off on buying some high-priced tools he really wanted, but knew it wasn't the priority (I'm sure they will make their way into his shop eventually). Conclusion Reflecting on our experience, a no-spend month proved valuable in realigning our spending with our values. It's a chance to assess priorities and ensure our financial decisions enhance our lives in meaningful ways. A lot of the stress people experience with regard to finances is due to the misalignment between our spending and our values. Are we really spending with intention on those things which will enhance and improve our lives; or are we spending on things that will give us a quick thrill, but don't add much value? We plan to try this again. What are your thoughts? Would you consider embarking on a no-spend month with us the next time we give it a go? During our yearly couples planning retreat this year, my hubby, tossed out this idea for a no-spend March. "Let's see how much we can save by giving the extras a break," he says, all hyped. He’s sure we are going to be millionaires at the end of the month by not ordering Amazon!
Four days in, folks (at the time of writing)! Together, we've put the brakes on non-essential spending. No more dining out, even on date nights – we're rocking the kitchen. Amazon quick buys? We're resisting the siren call, and our Costa Vida cravings are being set aside. Now, we don't live large, but we do have our weaknesses – hello, Costa Vida and movie downloads. Here's the scoop – we're still hitting the grocery store for planned meal ingredients, and we're keeping things like a pre-planned family getaway later this month in the plan. We're not going full hermit mode, just putting the brakes on the spur-of-the-moment non-essentials. Do you think a No-Spend Month Adventure sounds like a fun challenge for your family? Here are a few steps to prepare:
As we're just kicking off this no-spend March, we are feeling optimistic. I’ll be back next month to let you know how it went. So, who's in for a No-Spend Month Adventure? 🌟💰 Ever felt that knot in your stomach when checking your bank balance? Money isn't just about the numbers; it's a rollercoaster of emotions. Emotions wield considerable influence over our financial decisions, making it crucial to unravel the connection between our feelings and our wallets.
Understanding the psychology of money begins with acknowledging that our financial journey is deeply entwined with our emotions. Here's a brief guide on how to navigate this emotional landscape on your financial journey:
By recognizing the emotional landscape of your finances and incorporating a personalized MAP for your financial journey, you not only gain financial clarity but also foster a healthier relationship with money – one that harmonizes your emotional well-being with your financial goals. “We can’t afford that.” I think this is one of the most used parenting phrases. Would you agree?
“Can we get some Chick-fil-A?” “We can’t afford it.” “Can we buy that video game?” “We can’t afford it.” I’ve made a commitment never to tell my kids we can’t afford things ever again. Scarcity Mindset Recently, I came to the realization that by using that phrase, I was creating a paradigm of scarcity in my kids. Always telling them we can’t afford something could make them wonder what else we couldn’t afford. Can we afford the electric bill, the house payment, or the groceries this week? It could also cause them to not ask for things they truly need, but are sure we can’t afford (like when their shoes get too small or all their socks have holes in them). I never want my kids to worry that we cannot pay for the necessities in life. I also never want them to think they are stuck and will always live a life of scarcity - always thinking what we really want is not something we can afford - dreams are always out of reach. This is simply not true. Can’t afford is a lie When we really think about it, most of the time when we say, “we can’t afford it,” what we really mean is that we don’t want to spend our money on that particular thing at that time. We have other priorities for our money - like the electric bill and groceries. If we really wanted to tuck some money away each paycheck for a video game, we could; and, after a time, we could “afford” it, but we have other spending priorities. Saying we can’t afford it puts us into a victim mentality implying we are powerless to change our situation. It says, “I have no control over my situation.” I never want my kids to think they are powerless to change their circumstances. Scarcity vs Priority Changing our response from “we can’t afford it” to “that is not a priority for our money right now,” shifts us from a place of scarcity to a place of possibilities. It’s no longer about not having enough; it’s now about planning and priorities. We can teach our kids that anything can be within reach with some hard work and good financial prioritizing. When we take “afford” out of the equation, we make it all about possibilities for ourselves and our families. It puts us back in the drivers seat and in control over our financial situation. Teaching financial principles Taking it a step further, teaching our kids they can save up for those wants themselves helps them realize they have the power to make their lives what they want. Helping them to prioritize and manage their own money helps them see how priorities in budgeting works; and how they can reach for those dreams themselves. There are some wonderful financial principles your kids can learn when you encourage them to save up for things they want:
Financially empowering our kids with the knowledge that they have the ability to choose, they are not victims, and they can achieve their goals and dreams; allows them to develop a healthy relationship with money. In turn, this will help them have greater financial success.
The Budget Nerds are some of my favorite people to watch and listen to! I love how they geek out about money and budgeting. They work for YNAB and have a YouTube channel and podcast called Budget Nerds. Ben and Ernie bring a lot of personality to their show and do a great job of explaining and diving into all things YNAB and budgeting.
I am claiming budget nerd status for myself since they mentioned me twice in their show! I can do that, right? The first time they mentioned me was in a show they did giving some fun YNAB tips & tricks they got from YNAB users. You'll see my tip at 25:29 about flagging tax deductible spending in our budget, so we can more easily spot them for tax time. Ben, who was one of my teachers during the YNAB coach certification process, even mentions that I'm a coach. How fun is that?!
The second time I was privileged to be mentioned was in their episode on Memos in YNAB. I'm a big user of memos in my YNAB budget, so I use them for many different purposes. After hearing them mention memos briefly in one of their episodes, I sent Ben an email explaining all of the ways I use memos in my budget. Fast forward a few months later, and Ben sends me an email telling me that an episode would be coming out of them basically using my email as a script for their episode on memos. I was over the moon about it! Ernie even mentions that they were really getting nerdy with this topic - guess it's ok if I claim budget nerd status then!
I had the fun opportunity to join another YNAB Budget Coach on her podcast for America Saves Week. I got to talk with other finance experts as we talked about the hows, whys, and whats around saving. It was lots of fun to hear others speak of their perspectives and tips and tricks for saving.
View a full transcript: https://centsablechat.com/wp-content/uploads/2023/02/America-Saves-Transcript.pdf
TL/DR:
With the help of Dave Ramsey's principles as well as the tools and philosophy of YNAB, we were able to come up with and implement a system that works for us. We went from being literally dirt poor, going into overdraft month after month, living from paycheck to paycheck, to having accomplished paying off two homes and living the life we dreamed of while sitting in this little blue house. It is possible with hard work, consistency, and time, the dream is possible! Full story: See this blue house? This is where my money journey began. It was 2001. I had just gotten married and a friend of my parents offered us this house to rent for cheap. At the time, I was working as an American Sign Language interpreter at the local state college, and my husband was between jobs - both of us were students. This was all we could afford. The Blue House, as it came to be called, was originally built as a bunk house for farmhands in the 1940s. It had no foundation, so the living room floor was sinking into the ground. Because of the crookedness of the house, all the cold air of winter came in through the windows and doors. We would sit bundled up at the breakfast table and watch our breath form ice crystals in the air. The summer was not much better. The warm weather brought with it pill bugs and spiders who felt like this was their home. We learned, quickly, not to walk around without lights on and to sweep up the bugs and put them back outside a couple of times a day. A futile attempt since part of the kitchen floor was dirt! There was no shower, only a small tub my 5' 11" husband could not even stretch out in. The water heater was too small to house enough water to fill the bathtub beyond a couple of inches, so we boiled water for each other to have fuller baths. Thankfully, my parents lived only a few miles away, and they would let us use their shower when we just had to have one; and they let us use their washer and dryer (parents are great). It may surprise you to hear, but we love this house. We learned so much here! We learned that the only thing we knew about managing our money was to avoid debt (that was just about all we had been taught growing up). In this house, we learned that if you don’t do a good job of keeping track of your spending, you run out of money quickly! We learned that sometimes newlyweds argue about the cost of buying a salad for a potluck (I won that one). We learned that even though one partner says they will keep track of the checkbook, they don't always follow through (we were both guilty of that one). We learned that we didn’t know anything about money! Fast forward about 3 years. We both had full-time jobs and things were looking up. We had just moved into our new home expecting to be able to work and save up for adding children to our home someday. The next month we found out we were unexpectedly expecting. We ran the numbers and discovered that we would be trading my income for child care - making my income obsolete. We made the decision I would stay home with the baby and my husband would continue to work since he was earning more - even though he was still going to school. Money was tight, to say the least. Over the next few years, we added two more surprise babies and things got even tighter. Yes, my husband was getting raises and promotions (and did finish school), but there still never seemed to be enough. It was then that we were introduced to Dave Ramsey. We were all in - Gazelle intense! We understood the concept of the debt snowball and got started on that, but we didn't have the budgeting/saving thing figured out. We couldn't get that puzzle piece to work. We would set a budget, but at the end of the month, we were always over budget and out of money. We tried many of the popular programs for budgeting, but something was always missing - we were going into overdraft every month! The frustrations and "discussions" were also "intense." Our problem? We would check our bank account to see if we had money, if we did, we would spend. The problem was when we both spent the money unaware the other was spending. To make things worse, we would forget about the bill that would be deducted at the end of the week. We just weren't doing a good job of tracking the spending. We were looking back at where the money had gone instead of making a plan for where we wanted the money to go and making sure it got there. It was a good thing we had a good overdraft policy with our credit union because we used it A LOT. Then we played the blame game with each other. After years of trying and failing every month and getting very close to the end of our rope, my husband found this little-known budgeting software program. It was new but sounded like it might be the answer. You Need A Budget (and we did) was different than any other budgeting software we had tried. It was like envelopes for your money, but digital. You could plan your budget, then keep track of your spending in each category as you went along. It was exactly what we needed! There was a steep learning curve (I could have really used a coach back then), but after some trial and error over a few months, we finally got into a groove with it. We began implementing our own systems that worked well for us and trusting ourselves to make better financial choices. We said goodbye to our overdraft account and have not been in overdraft since! No longer were we stuck in that paycheck-to-paycheck cycle. We were finally living below our means and spending with intention. We finally had HOPE! Fast forward to today, we have used the philosophies of Dave Ramsey, the tools and principles of YNAB, along with our own tricks and hacks we figured out along the way to create the life we used to dream of sitting at the breakfast table watching our breath. We've paid off two homes and are working on a third. We have no debt to worry about and can save and invest for retirement (hopefully that'll happen early). It is possible to live the life you dream of. It takes time, effort, and consistency, but it is possible! In case you have been living in a hole and didn’t hear, it’s a new year! What financial goals do you have? What’s your plan for achieving them?
Here’s a little reminder for you to have H.O.P.E. Habit - make a habit of dreaming - what do you want life to look like 5, 10, 20 years down the road? Then, with that dream in mind, make a habit of budgeting every dollar - make a plan and stick to it (but remember to give yourself grace when life happens as it always does). Lastly make a habit of eliminating debt - stop allowing your past decisions to determine the kind of life you have now. Opportunity - Remember the opportunity costs. Ask yourself, “what is the best use of this money now?” then make it happen. Take the opportunity to increase your income. Remember to find opportunities to give - when we open our hand to give, we are also open to receive. Plan - Plan for those emergencies - those true expenses. We all know that Christmas comes on December 25th every year - it’s not a surprise. Start now to tuck a little away each month to pay for it. The same goes for car and home repairs, school fees, kids who grow out of their clothes… We know these things are going to happen, let’s be as ready as we can be. Along with that, don’t forget to have some good health, auto, home, and life insurance coverage in place as well. Elevate - Take your dreams, goals, and budget to new heights, continuously striving for progress and financial success. Once you reach a goal, set another one. Keep dreaming. Keep reaching. Keep moving your finances forward. You might remember a story about a famous mother pig. She had three famous sons. They were known as the Three Little Pigs. One day, Mother Pig looked up and said, “You can no longer live in my basement and play video games. You must go out into the world and make your way.” And she encouraged her young sons to make their way in the big bad world. And as she did, she said, “Beware of the Big Bad Wolf. He’s ravenous, and he will be patrolling the streets looking for dumb little pigs.” So the Three Little Pigs packed their bags and said good-bye to their mother. Then each went off on a different path.
Well, the first Little Pig, we know about this little pig. We’ve all heard about him all our lives. He’s YOLO Pig. “You only live once.” “Life’s short, so let’s get straight to it.” “Thank God it’s Friday. Oh God, it’s Monday.” So he didn’t want to invest a lot of time or trouble into his abode. So instead of spending time preparing for his future, the first guy he ran into with some straw sold him some straw. He built a straw house. The next Little Pig, we call him Ish Pig ‘cause he did everything “ish.” Ish Pig, he sort of did things. He wanted a little more than a straw house. He wanted to invest a little more time and a little more trouble into his future. He knew he should to do these things, but it was a lot of trouble, so he would do it “ish.” As we all know ish is a wish, and he ran into a guy with some twigs, and he built his twig house. He knew he should invest himself into his future, but when all his broke little piggy friends told him it was normal to go into debt to buy a new truck and go to a fancy school and live in a neighborhood he couldn’t afford, he listened to them. The third pig, Mr. Brick House, “I’m going to live like no one else, so that later I can live and give like no one else. There’s a Big Bad Wolf out there.” And he invested effort and time and discipline and trouble into all aspects of his life. He built a brick house. Now, any good child knows what happens next. The Big Bad Wolf named Pandemic came along. He’s named 2008 with the real estate bubble. He’s named 9-11 with the towers being attacked. He’s named Tornado. He’s named Hurricane. The Big Bad Wolf is named Forrest Fires. And he came looking for little pigs to devour. He came to YOLO Pig’s house and he said, “Come out! Come out!” And the first little pig said, “I’ve heard about you. My mom told me about you. I’m not coming out. You just want a pork sandwich. Not a chance. Not by the hair of my chinny chin chin.” And the wolf said, “Then I’ll huff and I’ll puff and I’ll blow your house down.” And he did. He shut down schools and businesses. He shut down an entire economy. The little pig escaped, barley, and he ran to his brother’s house with the twigs. The Big Bad Wolf came to the twig house and Ish Pig was there, and he said, “Come out! Come out!” Ish Pig said, “No, not by the hair of my chinny chin chin.” “Then I’ll huff and I’ll puff and I’ll take your life away.” He said, “No!” The wolf huffed and he puffed and he blew the house down. Then two little pigs ran for their brother’s house. They ran to the brick house. The wolf huffed and he puffed and he huffed and he puffed, but he was unable to blow the house down. So he left and went looking for more YOLO and Ish Pigs because the third pig had defeated the wolf. The wolf is coming! He’s real. It’s called Life. Stuff happens and we have to be ready. We have to be the third pig! 𝐖𝐡𝐢𝐜𝐡 𝐥𝐢𝐭𝐭𝐥𝐞 𝐩𝐢𝐠 𝐚𝐫𝐞 𝐲𝐨𝐮? 𝐘𝐎𝐋𝐎, 𝐈𝐬𝐡, 𝐨𝐫 𝐁𝐫𝐢𝐜𝐤? The “Payroll Tax Cut” began on September 1, 2020. Yes, another program to try to help stimulate the economy.
Who does this affect? What does it mean? How does it affect you? What are my financial coach recommendations/opinions? Who does this affect? This deferral program only affects employed people earning less than $4,000 in a two week pay period, or less than about $100,000 per year. If you are unemployed or retired, OR if your employer chooses not to participate, you don’t need to worry about it. You can stop reading (unless you’re curious about what may happen to everyone else). If you are self-employed, it’s unclear if you are able to participate in the program. What does it mean? President Trump, in an effort to stimulate the economy and to assist those who have been hit the hardest during our nation’s battle with COVID-19, sent a memorandum to the Secretary of the Treasury. In this memo, President Trump writes, “The Secretary of the Treasury is hereby directed to use his authority pursuant to 26 U.S.C. 7508A to defer the withholding, deposit, and payment of the tax imposed by 26 U.S.C. 3101(a)...” This tax deferral will be in effect from September 1, 2020-December 31, 2020. During this time, tax for social security may not be deducted from payroll checks. How does it affect you? If your employer decides to participate, you will see a slight increase in your paycheck for the next four months, but don’t get too excited yet. After December 31, 2020, you will see a decrease in your checks. The withholding will be double for social security for four months to make up for the deferred payments. President Trump’s memorandum does also ask the Secretary to “explore avenues, including legislation, to eliminate the obligation to pay the taxes deferred pursuant to the implementation of this memorandum.” Which means that there may be some legislation enacted to waive the payment of those deferred taxes, so you and your employer may not be on the hook for them later. What are my recommendations? Save. Save. Save. Save that extra money in your paycheck over the next four months. You may need it to cover expenses January-April 2021. If the legislation goes through to waive the payment of those deferred taxes, you’ll be sitting pretty on some saved cash for future emergencies. What’s my opinion? This “tax cut” or “tax holiday,” as some people are calling it, is not a cut. It is a deferral of tax payments. Those taxes will still come due as usual and will need to be taken out of your paycheck next year to allow your employer to make the payment. I can see this being a good thing for people who could use some extra cash during the holidays, but only if they can waive the tax before they start deducting everyone’s paychecks. If (and that’s a big IF) they can find a way to waive the tax altogether, yay! more money for all those affected. Link to memorandum: https://www.whitehouse.gov/.../memorandum-deferring.../ Each Leap year, since 2012, our family has done a time capsule. We answer questionnaires about what we like, what we are doing, and what we hope to accomplish in the next four years. We also add in pictures, handprints/tracings, and things which represent something about us at that time. It was so fun to open it up and read and see the things we put in 8 years ago and 4 years ago. It’s also fun to dream ahead about what we want to make happen in the next four years and add more to the box to discover next time!
To dream, to plan, to have a picture in your mind of what you want life to be like a year, 4 years, ten years, or even twenty years down the road helps you focus your life towards the ideal life you want. I hope, that as you are budgeting, saving, and planning for your money that you are dreaming as you go. Set those big goals, write them down and go get them!! As we approach a new year, many people are thinking of goals for 2020. It’s the start to a new decade...
Will it be a start to a new financial legacy for your family? Have you considered financial goals as part of your plan for the new year? Do you even know where to begin? Well, here’s a list to consider... Do you have at least $1000 in a baby emergency fund? Are you consumer debt free (everything but the house)? Do you have 3-6 months worth of expenses saved as an emergency fund? Are you investing in a retirement plan? Do you have money set aside for an education (for you or your child(ren)? Have you paid off your home? The first “no” you answered when reading the list, is where I would recommend you begin. If you’d like and outsider’s perspective on your financial plan and goals, I’d love to sit down with you and help you come up with a plan for changing your financial legacy! Please reach out any time! One of the best ways to improve your budget is contentment. Being content and happy with what you already have, helps you to spend less.
Today is the perfect day for counting all those blessings, remembering the gifts we have been given and realizing how truly blessed we are. Happy Thanksgiving to you all! Recessions often lead to layoffs and cutbacks. You need to be ready to go in search of a new job. Having a good resume at the ready will get you that new job even faster.
For this one, I’ve pulled in my husband. After 20 years of looking at resumes and deciding who to hire, he has some great tips to get you started. First of all, your resume is going to have competition. Depending on the position, at least 20 qualified individuals are going to apply for the same position. So the goal is to capture the hiring manager’s attention as quickly as possible and standing out in a positive way. Here are some tips: Read the job description carefully. Managers are looking for specific skills and experiences that are outlined in the description. The more you match those skills and experiences, the higher your chances are. Learn about the company, their mission, vision, culture and what makes them unique and successful. Be honest with yourself about whether you are a good fit for the company’s vision and culture. Read example resumes online, choose a template that best fits your personality and skill set. Your resume should reflect who you are and your skills. For example, if you’re a programmer, write some clever programming codes in the resume. Customize your resume to fit the position you are applying for. This will give a stronger impression that you are seeking this specific job and are attentive to details. Think of your resume as if it was a short commercial about you. Remember, you literally have only seconds to grab the manager’s attention (reading resumes is very exciting - not!). Put your most impressive experiences on top, if you have skills or experiences not relevant to the position you are applying for, get rid of it. Keep your resume to a single page and be minimalistic. Pack your very best skills and experiences on that page. Put some effort in being creative and always include a link to a portfolio of your past work. Never, ever lie or exaggerate about your skills or experiences on your resume. Doing so will dramatically reduce your chance of getting the job. If you don’t have certain skills or experiences needed to qualify for your dream job, create a list of what they are and set some goals with a plan to up-skill yourself. Include the how, where, what, and when in your plan. There are excellent cost effective programs out there such as Lynda.com to learn new skills. You may also want to apply for internship programs. One last tip, if you currently have a job, it’s a good idea to keep a private list of major achievements, compliments from peers, customers, and managers. This list will become super useful when the time comes to write your resume, build your portfolio, and during the interview process. Good luck! Thank you, Lance. I hope you all find these tips and ideas helpful as you polish up your resumes! If any of you would like another set of eyes on your plan to see if there is anything more you can do to get you and your family prepared, please reach out! I’d love to sit down with you and help any way I can! Nathan Morris said, “Every time you borrow money, you’re robbing your future self.” In the case of a looming recession, we cannot afford to rob ourselves and our families.
Once you have your beginner emergency fund, you will want to buckle down and start paying off debt using the snowball method. What is the snowball method? Here it is in a nutshell: 1- Make a list of ALL your debt (except the house) - smallest to largest. 2 - Find all the “extra” money you can - remember the idea of cutting your budget and finding extra income? 3 - Pay all that extra money on the debt at the top of the list - pay just minimums on the rest. 4 - Once that first debt is paid off, take the minimum payment and all the extra you’ve been paying to the first debt and pay it to the second. 5 - Continue doing that - making your “snowball” bigger and bigger - until you get to the end of the list and you are consumer DEBT FREE! So, why the snowball method? Shouldn’t I pay off the highest interest first? Many financial coaches recommend the Snowball method because it keeps you motivated. Starting with the smallest and working your way up helps you have quicker wins to keep you going. Often, when you start with the highest interest rate, it takes a long time to pay it down and motivation is lost. The second part of this is to avoid adding more debt to the list. With your emergency fund, you are safeguarded from further unwanted debt. Just remember, if you do have an emergency, pause the snowball and fill up your emergency fund again then get right back on track. Keeping your plan and budget in to forefront of your mind will help you avoid those temptations to borrow more for wants - couches being on sale is not an emergency. It’ll take time and work to get to the end of your snowball, so start now. You never know when that job could end, and not having debt payments sure will help! Next time we’ll talk about one thing you can do now to prepare for job loss... Stay tuned! In good times and in bad, one financial must remains constant: the need for an emergency fund. Having a solid emergency fund helps turn emergencies into inconveniences.
So how much money should you have in an emergency fund? • Still working to pay off debt: $1000 • Still working to pay off debt and earning less than $25k a year: $500 (this goes for teens too) • Consumer debt free (all but the house): 3-6 months of expenses - what you need to cover your Four Walls If you’re starting to hear whispers of possible job loss or cuts - debt free or not - stop paying any extra on debt, continue to pay minimums on all debt, and pack away as much as possible in your emergency fund to take care of your family. Once you have your fund, keep it safe and liquid. You need to be able to access it quickly and easily when/if it’s needed. Next we’ll talk about paying off debt, so you can have more funds at the ready... Stay tuned! |
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