What if the key to financial peace isn’t working harder, but asking smarter?
​Money is complicated, touching every aspect of our lives. Most of us were never taught how to navigate it. We want to do the 'right thing,' but it’s hard to know what that is, especially with so many loud voices online telling us to do it this way or that—sometimes even yelling at us if we don’t. It's difficult when those voices contradict each other. We get no closer to feeling peace and contentment with how we spend our money - only more frustrated.

The wrong questions
It's easy to become anxious and stressed about our money when we are asking ourselves the wrong questions. When you are considering your financial situation, do you find yourself asking questions like these:
What can I put off until later?
Where did all my money go?
How will I cover this emergency?
Why bother planning if nothing goes as expected or there’s never enough?
I can’t face this right now, can I just deal with this later?

What if I told you you already have all the answers, you're just asking the wrong questions?
We all crave clarity around our money. We all want to know what we have to spend and what we need to spend it on. Instead of looking at your bank account and stressing about doing things "right," look within and ask yourself the right questions:
What does this money need to do before I’m paid again?
​This question helps you understand what your priorities are and helps you see the reality of your situation. Focus on the priorities and assign some of your money the job of taking care of those priorities. 
What larger, less frequent spending do I need to prepare for?
​How many times have we been hit with a car repair or medical bill we were not expecting? By giving some of our money the job of preparing for these, we’ll be ready; so when those unexpected (and even expected - hello Christmas) expenses come up, we are ready for them? 
What can I set aside for next month’s spending?
​Starting a new month already fully funded can bring incredible peace. If we give some dollars the job of covering next month’s expenses, we create a financial buffer—and more flexibility.
What goals, large or small, do I want to prioritize?
​Is there a vacation you're wanting to take? Some home repairs you're wanting to make? Or a specific amount you want in the bank? (Rhyming was not intentional, but hey, I'll go with it!) Maybe you love to plant flowers in your yard every spring or to go skiing with the family every winter. Start now and give some dollars the job of paying for those priorities too. Whatever your personal goals are, make them a priority and go for it!
What changes do I need to make, if any?
​We all know the phrase from the old poem "The best laid plans of mice and men go awry." We can have the perfect plan for our money, and then something will come up, and a priority will change. Does that mean we are stuck? No, it means we can take the opportunity to shift our plan to align with the new priority. We are the ones in charge. We get to decide what we want to do with our money. Does it mean we've failed if we change our plan in the middle of everything? No! It means we got new information and our priorities shifted. That's ok. Make the changes you need to make as you go.

Spenfulness
​Asking ourselves the right questions are going to lead to clarity and contentment with our money. As we give every dollar a job to do in our plan, we can have the confidence to spend in line with our priorities.
We work hard for our money. We put our energy, our time, ourselves into our work. In exchange, we get money. That money is us. We want the ability to spend it, with confidence, on those things that are most important to us. It's called personal finance for a reason - it's personal.
As we gain clarity and confidence, we can feel that oh so wonderful feeling of spendfulness - a state of alignment between how you spend your
money and the life you want to live. Spendfulness doesn’t mean perfection—it means intentionality. It’s about aligning your spending with the things that matter most to you.
What's the next step you can take on your financial journey to get you to the spendfulness kind of life you want to live? Start with one of these five questions and watch how it transforms your mindset—and your money.

If there's one thing I've learned in nearly a decade of coaching people with their spending habits, it's this: money is as emotional as it is logical. We like to think it's all about the numbers, but it's tangled up in feelings—especially guilt. Most of us carry guilt around how we spend or manage money, whether from feeling like we don't have enough, regretting past purchases, or comparing ourselves to others. But today, I want to talk about a mindset shift: a way to break the guilt cycle and replace it with a more empowering cycle of planning, spending, and reflecting.
This guilt often comes from the spend > track > regret cycle. It's when we make a purchase in the moment, track it after the fact, and only then realize it wasn’t the best choice. We didn’t plan for it, and now we regret it. Maybe we saw something we wanted (or felt like we needed) and bought it impulsively. Then we have something more important come up that needs to be paid for. We realize we already spent the money. Then we regret the spending. Or it may look like seeing something we need or want, spending the money, later realizing the item could have cost less elsewhere if we had done our research, then we regret and feel guilt about the spending.
One of the biggest ones my husband and I experienced was with a water softener. Just after our first child was born, we had a water softener salesman show up at our door. Being young and still not very experienced with door to door salesmen, we let him in. He used our new baby to tug on our heartstrings and we agreed to do a whole house system with a water softener and RO water spout in the kitchen. When all was said and done, we went to Lowes and found out that we could have gotten the same things for a quarter of the price. Boy did we feel stupid! We still look back and regret that one, but we’ve had to learn to let it go. That’s when we realized: spending guilt and frustration can cloud our judgment, making us doubt ourselves. But practicing self-compassion, even after mistakes, helps break that cycle.
The water softener example was a large one, but we have had many such regretful spending moments over the years. We had a lot of shame over going into overdraft each month, asking family for a loan, and much more. Over time, with a lot of trial and error, we learned there is a better cycle to be in. The plan > spend > reflect cycle.
With this cycle, we plan our spending BEFORE we spend. We think of all the things we need our money to do for us - going beyond just the day to day, monthly spending. We plan for things like Christmas, car registrations, school fees, and yearly subscriptions year round - not just before they happen. We plan on emergencies or other unexpected things happening. We even have a plan for our kids' weddings before any of them are even close to being married.
Making this plan, having it all laid out in front of us, helps us spend with confidence. We know we can buy that pizza or pay for that car repair and still be able to pay for all of our other expenses - because we have it all planned out. Now, don't get me wrong, we were not planning on weddings and the like right off the bat, but we stuck with what we knew we needed now and in the near future. As more and more things got funded, we were able to expand to include more things in our spending plan. The key difference here is that with the plan > spend > reflect cycle, your spending aligns with what matters most to you—because you planned for it ahead of time. Instead of reacting and regretting, you're in control, making intentional choices that align with your goals. And that’s what takes guilt out of the equation. If we had been following this plan back with that door to door salesman, we would have known that it wasn't part of our plan. We could have updated our plan to include it, done our research, and done it much more cheaply and intentionaly when we were actually ready for that expense.
After we spend, we can reflect on our purchases and not have that same feeling of guilt and shame. Reflection doesn’t mean beating yourself up over past choices. It’s about learning from them and making tweaks to your plan so that you can get even closer to your goals next time. If something didn’t go as planned, adjust and move forward. This is all part of the process.
If you really want to kick spending guilt to the curb, start today by giving every dollar a job. Plan for each dollar, track your spending, and make sure it lines up with that plan. After a week or so of spending, look back. Is your spending in line with what's important to you? If it is, keep going. If it's not, adjust, re-plan, and keep going. Remember, no one taught you how to do this. You can't magically know something you were never taught. You'e got this!

When we talk about and think about money, it can evoke very strong emotions. Sometimes we want to avoid it altogether. Even when we earn enough for our needs, we feel like it's still not enough. In fact, 73% of Americans rank their finances as the number one cause of stress, according to a survey from the American Psychological Association (APA). Often, we feel overwhelmed and stressed. When I talk with people, rarely do they feel hope and joy in their financial situations. Today, I want to dive into some of these emotions and how they can present within the context of money addictions.

1. Spending Addiction
Many of us are familiar with the concept of spending addiction. People who suffer from this often feel the need to spend any money they get and more, usually in an attempt to feel better. This can be seen in individuals who have experienced financial abuse in the past, where they weren't allowed to spend. Once they're free to spend, it can get out of control.

For those dealing with spending addiction, it's essential to seek help and begin by creating a realistic budget. But more than that, using tools like the SMART spending method can help you make intentional choices and curb unnecessary spending. George Kamel’s SMART spending concept offers a simple yet powerful framework:

• S - Self-Awareness: Ask yourself, Is this going to add value to my life? Does it have a purpose?
• M - Motive: Consider, Am I buying this for the right reason? Is this retail therapy or an emotional purchase?
• A - Affordability: Reflect, Is this in my budget?
• R - Research: Ensure, Is this the best quality or price? Have I explored all my options?
• T - Timing: Evaluate, Is this the right time to buy this? Could it wait, considering opportunity costs and priorities?

By pausing to ask yourself these questions, you can break the cycle of impulse spending and make better financial decisions. It can also help to have an accountability partner who can talk you through purchases before you make them, ensuring that your spending aligns with your long-term goals.

Did you know? According to a 2023 study, approximately 6% of the U.S. population may struggle with compulsive buying disorder, with women being disproportionately affected.

2. Debt Addiction
Debt addiction can wreak havoc on financial health. It often looks like someone constantly opening new lines of credit—credit cards, personal loans, payday loans—and using one to pay off another. This behavior often leads to a vicious cycle of debt accumulation, poor credit, and in extreme cases, bankruptcy.

For help:

• Debtors Anonymous is a resource offering support for individuals struggling with debt addiction.
• Create a debt repayment plan and make it a priority to avoid opening new lines of credit.
• Seek financial counseling to manage and reduce debt systematically.

3. Financial Codependence
Financial codependence occurs when individuals feel compelled to give money to others, even to their own financial detriment. A person with this addiction might continually provide financial assistance to friends or family members, draining their own resources. This can lead to stress, resentment, and eventual financial ruin.

Overcoming financial codependence involves:

• Setting healthy boundaries and recognizing when financial help becomes enabling.
• Teaching financial literacy to those you help, so they can become self-sufficient.
• Work with a therapist to address the guilt or obligation associated with helping others financially.

Setting boundaries and helping others learn to manage their own finances can be incredibly empowering for both parties. For those in need, it offers hope and confidence as they gain the skills to handle their money independently. Rather than feeling helpless or dependent, they can take control of their situation and build a stronger financial future for themselves. This approach not only fosters self-reliance but also strengthens relationships, as it shows your loved ones that you believe in their ability to succeed.

4. Money Hoarding
At the other end of the spectrum from these mentioned addictions is money hoarding. This goes beyond simply saving towards goals or being wise with your money. It’s an obsession with holding onto every dollar, driven often by fear. People who hoard money may fear they will never have enough, or that financial security is always just out of reach. This fear can prevent them from spending on even small things that would bring joy or comfort. They may avoid social activities, turn down opportunities to celebrate with friends or family, or refuse to invest in experiences—all because of an overwhelming fear of future financial instability. Relationships can strain as they distance themselves from others to protect their financial resources. 

To overcome money hoarding:

• Acknowledge the fear and Create a balanced budget that allows for both security and enjoyment.
• Set aside a portion for experiences and give yourself permission to spend.
• Recognize your financial safety net and that responsible spending won’t leave you without enough.

By assigning some of your money the job of having fun, you can begin to trust that your future needs will be met without sacrificing the pleasures of today. Learning to trust your budget, will give you the confidence that you can spend and still have enough to cover your needs.

5. Deprivation Addiction
Deprivation addiction looks like intentionally living on the bare minimum, avoiding raises, promotions, or investments that could improve your financial situation. People who exhibit this behavior often feel unworthy of having more, or believe that living with less is a moral virtue.

If you struggle with deprivation addiction:

• Seek therapy to explore feelings of self-worth and address any underlying issues.
• Start small by allowing yourself to enjoy small luxuries within your means.
• Develop a mindset of abundance—recognize that you are deserving of financial comfort and security.

6. Money Hunger
On the other end of the spectrum is money hunger—an obsession with constantly seeking more income, new investments, or business opportunities. While ambition is not inherently bad, it can become problematic when it overshadows other aspects of life, like relationships or mental health.

If you find yourself consumed by the pursuit of more money:

• Evaluate your current financial situation: Often, when we take a close look, we realize we already have more than we thought. Instead of constantly seeking new income streams, ask yourself: Is there more I can do to stretch what I already have? By managing your existing resources more effectively, you may find that you’re already in a much better position than you realized, reducing the urge to always pursue more money.
• Prioritize relationships and experiences that enrich your life beyond financial success.
• Practice gratitude for your current wealth and focus on non-financial forms of richness in life.

Studies suggest that beyond a certain point, earning more money doesn’t increase happiness. In fact, research from Princeton University shows that emotional well-being plateaus at an annual income of around $75,000, depending on where you live.

Money addictions, like any other addiction, can be overwhelming and difficult to manage, but they are not impossible to overcome. Whether it’s working with a financial coach, seeking therapy, or joining a support group, there are many ways to regain control. The key is recognizing these patterns and addressing them before they damage your financial future, relationships, or mental health.

If you're struggling with any of these addictions or know someone who is, don’t hesitate to reach out to a professional therapist or to your financial coach. I’m here to help guide you to financial clarity and empowerment.​

You read that right... I can't stop looking at my budget. And here's why.

Earlier this year, my husband made a huge life decision—he left his 21-year career to pursue a more intentional life, more aligned with personal interests. We LOVED the time we had together during those months of “retirement.” But we also knew it couldn’t last forever. Eventually, we'd need health insurance, and, well... the cash would run out.

After four wonderful months together, he accepted a government job to help meet our family’s needs.

Now, working for the government is very different from working in the tech industry. One of the biggest differences? The pay—it was a significant cut. To say I was nervous is an understatement. We had commitments and family traditions we cherished, and I didn't want to lose them. But with so much less money coming in, how could we make it work?

I even started subscribing to job listings for places I wouldn’t mind working (YNAB, can you hear me?), just in case. I was prepared to give up doing what I love—helping people take control of their finances—if it came down to it.

We didn't want to make any big budget changes until that first paycheck arrived and we knew what we were working with. When it finally did come, I sat down, crunched the numbers, and something amazing happened: I realized that, with a few minor tweaks, we could live within our new income without a problem. I was so excited to share the news with my husband!

That evening, we had a little budget date. I walked him through my plan, and together, we went through the budget line by line—tweaking here, adjusting there—until everything fit. When we were done, I felt an incredible sense of relief. We wouldn’t have to give up our commitments, our favorite traditions, or the things that mattered most to us.

That clarity gave me so much peace and hope, I couldn’t stop looking at the budget. Even now, I find myself opening it up just to admire it. It’s like looking at a piece of art—it represents security, freedom, and the knowledge that we’re going to be okay. Not to mention, I can still keep focusing on my business and helping others find the same peace and hope with their finances.

When people tell me they don’t need a budget, or that budgets are too restrictive, I can’t help but smile. For me, a budget brings freedom, not restrictions. It’s what allows me to feel calm and confident about the future. And that’s made all the difference.

Ever felt that knot in your stomach when checking your bank balance?  Money isn't just about the numbers; it's a rollercoaster of emotions. Emotions wield considerable influence over our financial decisions, making it crucial to unravel the connection between our feelings and our wallets.

Understanding the psychology of money begins with acknowledging that our financial journey is deeply entwined with our emotions. Here's a brief guide on how to navigate this emotional landscape on your financial journey:

• Trace Your Money Roots: Take a stroll down memory lane. What attitudes toward money were instilled in you during your formative years? Recognizing your money narrative sheds light on your emotional connection to finances.
• Spot Emotional Triggers: Identify the road signs that prompt emotional reactions. Whether it's stress-induced impulse buying or avoiding money discussions, recognizing triggers empowers you to respond consciously.
• Craft a MAP (Money Allocation Plan): Move beyond a traditional budget and create a Spending Plan. Tailored to your values, this MAP not only tracks expenses but aligns your spending with what truly matters to you, offering a more meaningful and emotionally satisfying approach.
• Exercise Mindful Spending: Before green lighting that purchase, hit the bakes and assess your emotions. Are you buying to soothe emotions? Mindful spending helps distinguish between needs and wants, fostering intentional choices.
• Set Realistic Financial Goals: Align your aspirations with your values by setting achievable financial goals. Concrete targets provide purpose, helping you manage emotions and stay focused on your financial journey.

By recognizing the emotional landscape of your finances and incorporating a personalized MAP for your financial journey, you not only gain financial clarity but also foster a healthier relationship with money – one that harmonizes your emotional well-being with your financial goals.