“We can’t afford that.” I think this is one of the most used parenting phrases. Would you agree?
“Can we get some Chick-fil-A?” 
“We can’t afford it.” 
“Can we buy that video game?”
“We can’t afford it.”
I’ve made a commitment never to tell my kids we can’t afford things ever again. 

Scarcity Mindset
Recently, I came to the realization that by using that phrase, I was creating a paradigm of scarcity in my kids. Always telling them we can’t afford something could make them wonder what else we couldn’t afford. Can we afford the electric bill, the house payment, or the groceries this week? It could also cause them to not ask for things they truly need, but are sure we can’t afford (like when their shoes get too small or all their socks have holes in them). I never want my kids to worry that we cannot pay for the necessities in life. I also never want them to think they are stuck and will always live a life of scarcity - always thinking what we really want is not something we can afford - dreams are always out of reach. This is simply not true.

Can’t afford is a lie
When we really think about it, most of the time when we say, “we can’t afford it,” what we really mean is that we don’t want to spend our money on that particular thing at that time. We have other priorities for our money - like the electric bill and groceries. If we really wanted to tuck some money away each paycheck for a video game, we could; and, after a time, we could “afford” it, but we have other spending priorities.

Saying we can’t afford it puts us into a victim mentality implying we are powerless to change our situation. It says, “I have no control over my situation.” I never want my kids to think they are powerless to change their circumstances. 

Scarcity vs Priority
Changing our response from “we can’t afford it” to “that is not a priority for our money right now,” shifts us from a place of scarcity to a place of possibilities. It’s no longer about not having enough; it’s now about planning and priorities. We can teach our kids that anything can be within reach with some hard work and good financial prioritizing. When we take “afford” out of the equation, we make it all about possibilities for ourselves and our families. It puts us back in the drivers seat and in control over our financial situation.

Teaching financial principles
Taking it a step further, teaching our kids they can save up for those wants themselves helps them realize they have the power to make their lives what they want. Helping them to prioritize and manage their own money helps them see how priorities in budgeting works; and how they can reach for those dreams themselves.

There are some wonderful financial principles your kids can learn when you encourage them to save up for things they want:

1. Goal setting with money: One of the most basic principles in budgeting is to set goals for your money. You can also call this budgeting your money. It’s where you decide what your wants and needs are and make a plan for all your money to pay for those wants and needs.
2. Opportunity Costs: This is an important principle for everyone to learn. If I spend my money on these movie tickets, it means I won’t have the money for buying the video game I want. Weighing the opportunity costs helps us really dig deep to know what our true priorities are.
3. Every dollar equals minutes worked: If your kids are working to earn their money, teach them that every dollar equals time worked. If they earn $10/hour at their job, that video game means 7 hours (or 420 minutes) of working time. This can also help them narrow down their priorities. Is it worth all that time working? If it is to them, great! They’ve identified their priorities.

Financially empowering our kids with the knowledge that they have the ability to choose, they are not victims, and they can achieve their goals and dreams; allows them to develop a healthy relationship with money. In turn, this will help them have greater financial success.