When we talk about and think about money, it can evoke very strong emotions. Sometimes we want to avoid it altogether. Even when we earn enough for our needs, we feel like it's still not enough. In fact, 73% of Americans rank their finances as the number one cause of stress, according to a survey from the American Psychological Association (APA). Often, we feel overwhelmed and stressed. When I talk with people, rarely do they feel hope and joy in their financial situations. Today, I want to dive into some of these emotions and how they can present within the context of money addictions.
1. Spending Addiction Many of us are familiar with the concept of spending addiction. People who suffer from this often feel the need to spend any money they get and more, usually in an attempt to feel better. This can be seen in individuals who have experienced financial abuse in the past, where they weren't allowed to spend. Once they're free to spend, it can get out of control. For those dealing with spending addiction, it's essential to seek help and begin by creating a realistic budget. But more than that, using tools like the SMART spending method can help you make intentional choices and curb unnecessary spending. George Kamel’s SMART spending concept offers a simple yet powerful framework:
Did you know? According to a 2023 study, approximately 6% of the U.S. population may struggle with compulsive buying disorder, with women being disproportionately affected. 2. Debt Addiction Debt addiction can wreak havoc on financial health. It often looks like someone constantly opening new lines of credit—credit cards, personal loans, payday loans—and using one to pay off another. This behavior often leads to a vicious cycle of debt accumulation, poor credit, and in extreme cases, bankruptcy. For help:
3. Financial Codependence Financial codependence occurs when individuals feel compelled to give money to others, even to their own financial detriment. A person with this addiction might continually provide financial assistance to friends or family members, draining their own resources. This can lead to stress, resentment, and eventual financial ruin. Overcoming financial codependence involves:
4. Money Hoarding At the other end of the spectrum from these mentioned addictions is money hoarding. This goes beyond simply saving towards goals or being wise with your money. It’s an obsession with holding onto every dollar, driven often by fear. People who hoard money may fear they will never have enough, or that financial security is always just out of reach. This fear can prevent them from spending on even small things that would bring joy or comfort. They may avoid social activities, turn down opportunities to celebrate with friends or family, or refuse to invest in experiences—all because of an overwhelming fear of future financial instability. Relationships can strain as they distance themselves from others to protect their financial resources. To overcome money hoarding:
5. Deprivation Addiction Deprivation addiction looks like intentionally living on the bare minimum, avoiding raises, promotions, or investments that could improve your financial situation. People who exhibit this behavior often feel unworthy of having more, or believe that living with less is a moral virtue. If you struggle with deprivation addiction:
6. Money Hunger On the other end of the spectrum is money hunger—an obsession with constantly seeking more income, new investments, or business opportunities. While ambition is not inherently bad, it can become problematic when it overshadows other aspects of life, like relationships or mental health. If you find yourself consumed by the pursuit of more money:
Money addictions, like any other addiction, can be overwhelming and difficult to manage, but they are not impossible to overcome. Whether it’s working with a financial coach, seeking therapy, or joining a support group, there are many ways to regain control. The key is recognizing these patterns and addressing them before they damage your financial future, relationships, or mental health. If you're struggling with any of these addictions or know someone who is, don’t hesitate to reach out to a professional therapist or to your financial coach. I’m here to help guide you to financial clarity and empowerment.
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You read that right... I can't stop looking at my budget. And here's why.
Earlier this year, my husband made a huge life decision—he left his 21-year career to pursue a more intentional life, more aligned with personal interests. We LOVED the time we had together during those months of “retirement.” But we also knew it couldn’t last forever. Eventually, we'd need health insurance, and, well... the cash would run out. After four wonderful months together, he accepted a government job to help meet our family’s needs. Now, working for the government is very different from working in the tech industry. One of the biggest differences? The pay—it was a significant cut. To say I was nervous is an understatement. We had commitments and family traditions we cherished, and I didn't want to lose them. But with so much less money coming in, how could we make it work? I even started subscribing to job listings for places I wouldn’t mind working (YNAB, can you hear me?), just in case. I was prepared to give up doing what I love—helping people take control of their finances—if it came down to it. We didn't want to make any big budget changes until that first paycheck arrived and we knew what we were working with. When it finally did come, I sat down, crunched the numbers, and something amazing happened: I realized that, with a few minor tweaks, we could live within our new income without a problem. I was so excited to share the news with my husband! That evening, we had a little budget date. I walked him through my plan, and together, we went through the budget line by line—tweaking here, adjusting there—until everything fit. When we were done, I felt an incredible sense of relief. We wouldn’t have to give up our commitments, our favorite traditions, or the things that mattered most to us. That clarity gave me so much peace and hope, I couldn’t stop looking at the budget. Even now, I find myself opening it up just to admire it. It’s like looking at a piece of art—it represents security, freedom, and the knowledge that we’re going to be okay. Not to mention, I can still keep focusing on my business and helping others find the same peace and hope with their finances. When people tell me they don’t need a budget, or that budgets are too restrictive, I can’t help but smile. For me, a budget brings freedom, not restrictions. It’s what allows me to feel calm and confident about the future. And that’s made all the difference. We Did a Thing! At the end of May, we made a long-time dream come true. For years, I've been wanting to take my kids to see the majestic Redwoods. Yet, it never seemed to become a top priority. Other opportunities and priorities for our time and money always seemed to get in the way. But earlier this year, I had an epiphany: this HAD to be the year and the last week of May HAD to be the time. Why the urgency? Our family is rapidly growing and changing. My oldest will soon be moving into her first apartment (it's in our basement, but it's still a significant change). Our second just graduated from high school and is heading into new and time-consuming adventures in the fall. Our youngest will be starting high school. And my husband, though retired from his former company, is exploring new fulfilling work opportunities outside the home. This was our window, and I knew we had to seize it. We had some money in our YNAB budget set aside for vacations. So, one afternoon in the midst of our crazy May, my husband and I did some research and decided that driving the 870 miles and camping would be the most affordable option. We booked the campsite and told our kids to request time off work. We were all super excited for this adventure, even our daughter who has an aversion to bugs and dirt! The weeks leading up to the trip were packed with end-of-school-year events, finals, graduations, and navigating semi-retired life. It was a busy and stressful time, but whenever one of us mentioned the trip, we all got a hopeful look of excitement, knowing that soon we'd be relaxing in the beautiful surroundings of the Redwoods. Folks, we were NOT disappointed! It was a dream vacation. With minimal phone reception, we had the chance to truly explore and enjoy the area and reconnect with each other without the distraction of devices. We enjoyed some amazing hikes, great food, and the peace and quiet that the area offered. We even drove our SUV through a tree! The morning we packed up to leave, I got a little teary-eyed. This was probably the last vacation we would have like this with our family as it is now. I didn't want to leave. If you know me, hearing me say I didn't want to leave CAMPING is saying something. The word that keeps coming to mind when I think of this trip is "sacred." The place, the time, the entire experience felt sacred.
So why am I sharing this with you? Many money gurus would criticize our choice to take this trip. We don't currently have a steady family income coming in. That week was the last week we had medical insurance coverage. We don't have a solid plan yet for replacing the steady income we've enjoyed for the last 21 years. To take that time and spend that money could be seen as reckless by many financial experts. We should be saving that money. We should be using our time to find steady income. We should have our priorities aligned with what they view as important for financial success. Nope! The best way to find true financial freedom is to ensure your spending aligns with your own priorities and values. We value our family time, so that's where we want our money to go – spending time with family. Now, I'm not advocating for the "I value a trip to Italy with my family, so I'm going to go into more debt to pay for it" philosophy. It's still crucial to avoid debt for many reasons, especially because it doesn't add to your financial freedom; it adds to your slavery. So, if it's something you truly value, save up the money, find ways to make it more affordable, and do the thing! Taking this trip was a priority for us, and it was worth every penny. It reinforced what we value most: our time together. So, as you plan your finances, remember to prioritize what truly matters to you. Spend intentionally, and you'll find both joy and financial freedom. During our yearly couples planning retreat this year, my hubby, tossed out this idea for a no-spend March. "Let's see how much we can save by giving the extras a break," he says, all hyped. He’s sure we are going to be millionaires at the end of the month by not ordering Amazon!
Four days in, folks (at the time of writing)! Together, we've put the brakes on non-essential spending. No more dining out, even on date nights – we're rocking the kitchen. Amazon quick buys? We're resisting the siren call, and our Costa Vida cravings are being set aside. Now, we don't live large, but we do have our weaknesses – hello, Costa Vida and movie downloads. Here's the scoop – we're still hitting the grocery store for planned meal ingredients, and we're keeping things like a pre-planned family getaway later this month in the plan. We're not going full hermit mode, just putting the brakes on the spur-of-the-moment non-essentials. Do you think a No-Spend Month Adventure sounds like a fun challenge for your family? Here are a few steps to prepare:
As we're just kicking off this no-spend March, we are feeling optimistic. I’ll be back next month to let you know how it went. So, who's in for a No-Spend Month Adventure? 🌟💰 In good times and in bad, one financial must remains constant: the need for an emergency fund. Having a solid emergency fund helps turn emergencies into inconveniences.
So how much money should you have in an emergency fund? • Still working to pay off debt: $1000 • Still working to pay off debt and earning less than $25k a year: $500 (this goes for teens too) • Consumer debt free (all but the house): 3-6 months of expenses - what you need to cover your Four Walls If you’re starting to hear whispers of possible job loss or cuts - debt free or not - stop paying any extra on debt, continue to pay minimums on all debt, and pack away as much as possible in your emergency fund to take care of your family. Once you have your fund, keep it safe and liquid. You need to be able to access it quickly and easily when/if it’s needed. Next we’ll talk about paying off debt, so you can have more funds at the ready... Stay tuned! |
Heads-Up!Take a peek into my coaching journey through the years! Here, you'll see how my thoughts and wisdom have grown as I've learned from working with amazing people and expanding my knowledge Master Your Money – Get Expert Tips!
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