"I make plenty of money. I don't need a budget." This is a phrase I've heard more than once. When I hear this, I know that person does not understand what a budget is. True budgeting is not about restricting your spending, it's about making intentional financial choices. In a 2022 Lending Club report, we see that even high earners - earning over $100,000 - are living paycheck to paycheck, which means if they were to miss a paycheck, they wouldn't be able to keep up their lifestyle. Instead of thinking of a budget as something that is restrictive and a joy-killer, think of it as just having a plan for your spending. Instead of a budget, let's call it a spending plan.
​Lifestyle Creep Is Real
Earning more money is great, but typically when we earn more, we spend more - lifestyle creep is real. When one of my clients was working as an executive officer for a tech company, he noticed that all the other officers drove fancy expensive cars. He was even teased by the other officers about the simple, basic car he drove, calling it a teenager car. When it came down to it, could he afford to buy whatever car he might want? Yes. Was it part of his overall spending plan? No. He knew what he wanted his money to do, and buying a fancy car to impress others wasn't it. Having a spending plan helps prevent the creep.
High Income Doesn't Equal Wealth
​There's a difference between your income and your net worth. Your net worth is all of your assets minus your liabilities. If you have taken on a lot of debt because you can "afford the payments," that can hurt your net worth. Living paycheck to paycheck to pay for your lifestyle doesn't allow much room for saving and increasing your net worth. Having a spending plan allows you to ensure money is being allocated toward building wealth, not just funding lifestyle upgrades. Even with a high income, your ability to weather financial storms can be compromised if you’re not saving or investing strategically.
​Unexpected Expenses & Lifestyle Changes
 Even high-earners, especially in our current climate, face financial surprises -- job loss, economic downturns, family emergencies, and so much more can adversely affect our finances. Having a priorities-driven spending plan in place, ensures you are ready when those surprises happen. Not only can you prepare yourself for surprises, you can prepare yourself to walk away from the grind and live your dream life (if that's what you want). Taking charge of your finances gives you choices.
​Aligning Spending with Priorities
​More income can give us more opportunities to be intentional with our spending. Having a plan in place ensures our money is going toward what truly matters -- travel, philanthropy, investments, family experiences, or whatever your spendful heart desires. Without a plan, you don't have the same confidence -- knowing you can spend and still pay for the necessities. A clear spending plan doesn’t just keep you from overspending -- it helps you make decisions that truly align with your life’s values and goals.
​Conclusion
​Again, we are not talking about restricting your spending, we are talking about the freedom to do the things you want to do with your money. Don't just let all that hard-earned money blindly fall through your fingers. Give it a try for just one month. Make a plan for where you want your money to go, track where your money goes, and see how it changes your confidence, your savings, and your ability to live the life you truly want.

February is often about hearts, chocolates, and showing love to those who matter most. But what if, this year, you showed a little love to your finances? Imagine ending each month feeling excited—not anxious—about where your money went and actually falling in love with how you spend your money. It’s possible! Let's talk about how.
Early in our marriage, when my husband was the sole provider for our growing family, we felt like he earned plenty of money to  pay for the basics of life and even some extra on dreams and goals. However, we'd get to the end of each month and ask, "Where did all our hard-earned money go?" We would end up in overdraft nearly every month! And we weren't getting any closer to those dreams and goals. It was a very frustrating and anger inducing place to be in. Now, years later, after learning how to align our spending with our values, we have fallen in love with how we spend our money.

How can you fall in love with how you spend your money?
Step one: Make a spending plan for all of your money.
Step two: Spend your money
Step three: Track your spending (YNAB is a great tool for this)
Step four: Reflect on your spending
Step five: Adjust your spending plan as needed

Make a spending plan for all of your money
Put another way, give every dollar you have a job in your spending plan. Include your savings and your checking accounts. If we leave our savings in an ambiguous pile in our savings account and just call it "savings," we have a habit of saying things like, "Well, we weren't expecting that. We'll have to take it form savings." "There is an amazing sale on this [fill in the blank], but we don't have the money, we'll have to take it from savings." "We want to go on that vacation, but we'll have to dip into savings." Before you know it, that "savings" pile quietly disappears. However, when we give some of those savings dollars the job of "Christmas," or "vacation," or "new boat," we are less likely to "take from our savings." Giving our dollars specific jobs protects them and allow us to use them for the job we gave them.
When making your spending plan, be sure to keep your priorities and values in mind. If you are sending money on anything that you really don't like, eliminate it or reduce it. For example, if you're making debt payments every month, is there a way to pay more to get rid of it sooner, so you don't have that hanging over your head? Or are you paying for so many subscriptions, you've lost track? There could be many things that we spend our money on out of habit, or because our friends/family spend their money that way, that can be eliminated from our habitual spending. Make sure each of your dollars has a job that either is paying for a necessity or is for something that brings you joy and contentment.

Spend your money
You can't fall in love with how you spend without spending. I'm not saying "don't save your money." Money is fungible. All dollars are savings dollars and all dollars are spending dollars. The difference is the timing around when the money is spent. Even if you are intentionally saving, all money will eventually be spent - either by you or by those you leave it to when you pass away. It will be spent. So if it's all going to be spent, let's be sure we spend it on things that are really important to us.

Track your spending
Once you have your spending plan and you're living life and spending your money, you want to track how you spent it. This is how we make sure our money is going where we want it to go. Instead of looking at a lump sum in our checking account, we want to know what that money is doing for us. We need to know how much of that money is left to spend on groceries, or eating out, or our next vacation. Tracking our spending ensures we know exactly how much we have left to spend in one area and still be confident that we can pay for all the other priorities. This was the key that helped us stop going into overdraft nearly every month - track the spending and check the budget!

Reflect on your spending
As we are going along, we will want to review our spending. Are we making progress towards our goals? Have our priorities changed, and therefore we need to change our spending plan to match? Priories may change over time, and that's fine. As they change, we need to be aware of that and keep our spending plan aligned with our priorities. The start of a new year or quarter is a great time to check in on our spending plan. Are our dollars going towards our priorities, or do we need to adjust? Have you noticed a trend to spend more on things that are more of a convenience than a priority? Notice it, adjust and keep going.

Adjust your spending plan as needed
​Our spending plan is just that - a plan. Sometimes plans change. When we made our plan, that was the best intention for our money at that time with the information we had. Sometimes we get new information.
In our spending plan, we have a certain amount of money set aside each month for dining out. However, I can remember a day when I was raising small children and I was having one of those overwhelming "mom days." Some of you may know what I mean. By the time it was time to make dinner, I just didn't have the bandwidth to make it happen. I really just wanted to order a pizza and be done with it. I checked the budget, and our dining out money was gone. I was very frustrated to say the least! It took everything I had, but I made something for dinner and was not my best self for my family the rest of the day.
If I had known then what I know now, I would have chosen to move money from somewhere else in the spending plan, order the pizza and had a better night with my family - quality family time is more important to me than sticking with a rigid budget.
Making adjustments as you go is the best way to stick with a budget/spending plan along the way. It's also a great way to fall in love with how you spend your money.

Falling in love with how you spend your money isn't about perfection—it's about creating a life where your money reflects your values, priorities, and dreams. It's giving yourself the grace to adjust when life throws surprises your way and celebrating the wins when your spending aligns with what matters most to you. As you move forward, remember: your spending plan is a living, breathing guide, not a rigid set of rules. So this February, as you're celebrating love with those around you, take a moment to appreciate the relationship you're building with your money. After all, when you love how you spend, you're investing in a life full of peace, confidence, and joy.

When we talk about and think about money, it can evoke very strong emotions. Sometimes we want to avoid it altogether. Even when we earn enough for our needs, we feel like it's still not enough. In fact, 73% of Americans rank their finances as the number one cause of stress, according to a survey from the American Psychological Association (APA). Often, we feel overwhelmed and stressed. When I talk with people, rarely do they feel hope and joy in their financial situations. Today, I want to dive into some of these emotions and how they can present within the context of money addictions.

1. Spending Addiction
Many of us are familiar with the concept of spending addiction. People who suffer from this often feel the need to spend any money they get and more, usually in an attempt to feel better. This can be seen in individuals who have experienced financial abuse in the past, where they weren't allowed to spend. Once they're free to spend, it can get out of control.

For those dealing with spending addiction, it's essential to seek help and begin by creating a realistic budget. But more than that, using tools like the SMART spending method can help you make intentional choices and curb unnecessary spending. George Kamel’s SMART spending concept offers a simple yet powerful framework:

• S - Self-Awareness: Ask yourself, Is this going to add value to my life? Does it have a purpose?
• M - Motive: Consider, Am I buying this for the right reason? Is this retail therapy or an emotional purchase?
• A - Affordability: Reflect, Is this in my budget?
• R - Research: Ensure, Is this the best quality or price? Have I explored all my options?
• T - Timing: Evaluate, Is this the right time to buy this? Could it wait, considering opportunity costs and priorities?

By pausing to ask yourself these questions, you can break the cycle of impulse spending and make better financial decisions. It can also help to have an accountability partner who can talk you through purchases before you make them, ensuring that your spending aligns with your long-term goals.

Did you know? According to a 2023 study, approximately 6% of the U.S. population may struggle with compulsive buying disorder, with women being disproportionately affected.

2. Debt Addiction
Debt addiction can wreak havoc on financial health. It often looks like someone constantly opening new lines of credit—credit cards, personal loans, payday loans—and using one to pay off another. This behavior often leads to a vicious cycle of debt accumulation, poor credit, and in extreme cases, bankruptcy.

For help:

• Debtors Anonymous is a resource offering support for individuals struggling with debt addiction.
• Create a debt repayment plan and make it a priority to avoid opening new lines of credit.
• Seek financial counseling to manage and reduce debt systematically.

3. Financial Codependence
Financial codependence occurs when individuals feel compelled to give money to others, even to their own financial detriment. A person with this addiction might continually provide financial assistance to friends or family members, draining their own resources. This can lead to stress, resentment, and eventual financial ruin.

Overcoming financial codependence involves:

• Setting healthy boundaries and recognizing when financial help becomes enabling.
• Teaching financial literacy to those you help, so they can become self-sufficient.
• Work with a therapist to address the guilt or obligation associated with helping others financially.

Setting boundaries and helping others learn to manage their own finances can be incredibly empowering for both parties. For those in need, it offers hope and confidence as they gain the skills to handle their money independently. Rather than feeling helpless or dependent, they can take control of their situation and build a stronger financial future for themselves. This approach not only fosters self-reliance but also strengthens relationships, as it shows your loved ones that you believe in their ability to succeed.

4. Money Hoarding
At the other end of the spectrum from these mentioned addictions is money hoarding. This goes beyond simply saving towards goals or being wise with your money. It’s an obsession with holding onto every dollar, driven often by fear. People who hoard money may fear they will never have enough, or that financial security is always just out of reach. This fear can prevent them from spending on even small things that would bring joy or comfort. They may avoid social activities, turn down opportunities to celebrate with friends or family, or refuse to invest in experiences—all because of an overwhelming fear of future financial instability. Relationships can strain as they distance themselves from others to protect their financial resources. 

To overcome money hoarding:

• Acknowledge the fear and Create a balanced budget that allows for both security and enjoyment.
• Set aside a portion for experiences and give yourself permission to spend.
• Recognize your financial safety net and that responsible spending won’t leave you without enough.

By assigning some of your money the job of having fun, you can begin to trust that your future needs will be met without sacrificing the pleasures of today. Learning to trust your budget, will give you the confidence that you can spend and still have enough to cover your needs.

5. Deprivation Addiction
Deprivation addiction looks like intentionally living on the bare minimum, avoiding raises, promotions, or investments that could improve your financial situation. People who exhibit this behavior often feel unworthy of having more, or believe that living with less is a moral virtue.

If you struggle with deprivation addiction:

• Seek therapy to explore feelings of self-worth and address any underlying issues.
• Start small by allowing yourself to enjoy small luxuries within your means.
• Develop a mindset of abundance—recognize that you are deserving of financial comfort and security.

6. Money Hunger
On the other end of the spectrum is money hunger—an obsession with constantly seeking more income, new investments, or business opportunities. While ambition is not inherently bad, it can become problematic when it overshadows other aspects of life, like relationships or mental health.

If you find yourself consumed by the pursuit of more money:

• Evaluate your current financial situation: Often, when we take a close look, we realize we already have more than we thought. Instead of constantly seeking new income streams, ask yourself: Is there more I can do to stretch what I already have? By managing your existing resources more effectively, you may find that you’re already in a much better position than you realized, reducing the urge to always pursue more money.
• Prioritize relationships and experiences that enrich your life beyond financial success.
• Practice gratitude for your current wealth and focus on non-financial forms of richness in life.

Studies suggest that beyond a certain point, earning more money doesn’t increase happiness. In fact, research from Princeton University shows that emotional well-being plateaus at an annual income of around $75,000, depending on where you live.

Money addictions, like any other addiction, can be overwhelming and difficult to manage, but they are not impossible to overcome. Whether it’s working with a financial coach, seeking therapy, or joining a support group, there are many ways to regain control. The key is recognizing these patterns and addressing them before they damage your financial future, relationships, or mental health.

If you're struggling with any of these addictions or know someone who is, don’t hesitate to reach out to a professional therapist or to your financial coach. I’m here to help guide you to financial clarity and empowerment.​

You read that right... I can't stop looking at my budget. And here's why.

Earlier this year, my husband made a huge life decision—he left his 21-year career to pursue a more intentional life, more aligned with personal interests. We LOVED the time we had together during those months of “retirement.” But we also knew it couldn’t last forever. Eventually, we'd need health insurance, and, well... the cash would run out.

After four wonderful months together, he accepted a government job to help meet our family’s needs.

Now, working for the government is very different from working in the tech industry. One of the biggest differences? The pay—it was a significant cut. To say I was nervous is an understatement. We had commitments and family traditions we cherished, and I didn't want to lose them. But with so much less money coming in, how could we make it work?

I even started subscribing to job listings for places I wouldn’t mind working (YNAB, can you hear me?), just in case. I was prepared to give up doing what I love—helping people take control of their finances—if it came down to it.

We didn't want to make any big budget changes until that first paycheck arrived and we knew what we were working with. When it finally did come, I sat down, crunched the numbers, and something amazing happened: I realized that, with a few minor tweaks, we could live within our new income without a problem. I was so excited to share the news with my husband!

That evening, we had a little budget date. I walked him through my plan, and together, we went through the budget line by line—tweaking here, adjusting there—until everything fit. When we were done, I felt an incredible sense of relief. We wouldn’t have to give up our commitments, our favorite traditions, or the things that mattered most to us.

That clarity gave me so much peace and hope, I couldn’t stop looking at the budget. Even now, I find myself opening it up just to admire it. It’s like looking at a piece of art—it represents security, freedom, and the knowledge that we’re going to be okay. Not to mention, I can still keep focusing on my business and helping others find the same peace and hope with their finances.

When people tell me they don’t need a budget, or that budgets are too restrictive, I can’t help but smile. For me, a budget brings freedom, not restrictions. It’s what allows me to feel calm and confident about the future. And that’s made all the difference.

We Did a Thing!
At the end of May, we made a long-time dream come true. For years, I've been wanting to take my kids to see the majestic Redwoods. Yet, it never seemed to become a top priority. Other opportunities and priorities for our time and money always seemed to get in the way. But earlier this year, I had an epiphany: this HAD to be the year and the last week of May HAD to be the time.

Why the urgency? Our family is rapidly growing and changing. My oldest will soon be moving into her first apartment (it's in our basement, but it's still a significant change). Our second just graduated from high school and is heading into new and time-consuming adventures in the fall. Our youngest will be starting high school. And my husband, though retired from his former company, is exploring new fulfilling work opportunities outside the home. This was our window, and I knew we had to seize it.

We had some money in our YNAB budget set aside for vacations. So, one afternoon in the midst of our crazy May, my husband and I did some research and decided that driving the 870 miles and camping would be the most affordable option. We booked the campsite and told our kids to request time off work. We were all super excited for this adventure, even our daughter who has an aversion to bugs and dirt!

The weeks leading up to the trip were packed with end-of-school-year events, finals, graduations, and navigating semi-retired life. It was a busy and stressful time, but whenever one of us mentioned the trip, we all got a hopeful look of excitement, knowing that soon we'd be relaxing in the beautiful surroundings of the Redwoods.

Folks, we were NOT disappointed! It was a dream vacation. With minimal phone reception, we had the chance to truly explore and enjoy the area and reconnect with each other without the distraction of devices. We enjoyed some amazing hikes, great food, and the peace and quiet that the area offered. We even drove our SUV through a tree!

The morning we packed up to leave, I got a little teary-eyed. This was probably the last vacation we would have like this with our family as it is now. I didn't want to leave. If you know me, hearing me say I didn't want to leave CAMPING is saying something. The word that keeps coming to mind when I think of this trip is "sacred." The place, the time, the entire experience felt sacred.

So why am I sharing this with you? Many money gurus would criticize our choice to take this trip. We don't currently have a steady family income coming in. That week was the last week we had medical insurance coverage. We don't have a solid plan yet for replacing the steady income we've enjoyed for the last 21 years. To take that time and spend that money could be seen as reckless by many financial experts. We should be saving that money. We should be using our time to find steady income. We should have our priorities aligned with what they view as important for financial success. Nope!

The best way to find true financial freedom is to ensure your spending aligns with your own priorities and values. We value our family time, so that's where we want our money to go – spending time with family. Now, I'm not advocating for the "I value a trip to Italy with my family, so I'm going to go into more debt to pay for it" philosophy. It's still crucial to avoid debt for many reasons, especially because it doesn't add to your financial freedom; it adds to your slavery. So, if it's something you truly value, save up the money, find ways to make it more affordable, and do the thing!

Taking this trip was a priority for us, and it was worth every penny. It reinforced what we value most: our time together. So, as you plan your finances, remember to prioritize what truly matters to you. Spend intentionally, and you'll find both joy and financial freedom.

During our yearly couples planning retreat this year, my hubby, tossed out this idea for a no-spend March. "Let's see how much we can save by giving the extras a break," he says, all hyped. He’s sure we are going to be millionaires at the end of the month by not ordering Amazon!

Four days in, folks (at the time of writing)! Together, we've put the brakes on non-essential spending. No more dining out, even on date nights – we're rocking the kitchen. Amazon quick buys? We're resisting the siren call, and our Costa Vida cravings are being set aside. Now, we don't live large, but we do have our weaknesses – hello, Costa Vida and movie downloads.

Here's the scoop – we're still hitting the grocery store for planned meal ingredients, and we're keeping things like a pre-planned family getaway later this month in the plan. We're not going full hermit mode, just putting the brakes on the spur-of-the-moment non-essentials.

Do you think a No-Spend Month Adventure sounds like a fun challenge for your family? Here are a few steps to prepare:

1. Identify Your Weaknesses: What are those spending habits you want to curb? Be real about it. Whether it's that daily coffee run or those online shopping sprees, acknowledge your financial Achilles' heel.
2. Set Clear Guidelines: Determine what 'no-spend' means for you. Are you cutting out dining out, impulse buys, or both? Establish your own rules to keep it realistic for your lifestyle.
3. Plan Your Essentials: Recognize what you need to spend on, like groceries or planned events. The goal is to trim the excess, not deprive yourself of necessities.
4. Create Alternatives: Think about how you can still enjoy life without spending. Movie nights at home, cooking adventures, and free local activities are great substitutes for pricey outings.

As we're just kicking off this no-spend March, we are feeling optimistic. I’ll be back next month to let you know how it went. So, who's in for a No-Spend Month Adventure? 🌟💰