What if the key to financial peace isn’t working harder, but asking smarter?
​Money is complicated, touching every aspect of our lives. Most of us were never taught how to navigate it. We want to do the 'right thing,' but it’s hard to know what that is, especially with so many loud voices online telling us to do it this way or that—sometimes even yelling at us if we don’t. It's difficult when those voices contradict each other. We get no closer to feeling peace and contentment with how we spend our money - only more frustrated.

The wrong questions
It's easy to become anxious and stressed about our money when we are asking ourselves the wrong questions. When you are considering your financial situation, do you find yourself asking questions like these:
What can I put off until later?
Where did all my money go?
How will I cover this emergency?
Why bother planning if nothing goes as expected or there’s never enough?
I can’t face this right now, can I just deal with this later?

What if I told you you already have all the answers, you're just asking the wrong questions?
We all crave clarity around our money. We all want to know what we have to spend and what we need to spend it on. Instead of looking at your bank account and stressing about doing things "right," look within and ask yourself the right questions:
What does this money need to do before I’m paid again?
​This question helps you understand what your priorities are and helps you see the reality of your situation. Focus on the priorities and assign some of your money the job of taking care of those priorities. 
What larger, less frequent spending do I need to prepare for?
​How many times have we been hit with a car repair or medical bill we were not expecting? By giving some of our money the job of preparing for these, we’ll be ready; so when those unexpected (and even expected - hello Christmas) expenses come up, we are ready for them? 
What can I set aside for next month’s spending?
​Starting a new month already fully funded can bring incredible peace. If we give some dollars the job of covering next month’s expenses, we create a financial buffer—and more flexibility.
What goals, large or small, do I want to prioritize?
​Is there a vacation you're wanting to take? Some home repairs you're wanting to make? Or a specific amount you want in the bank? (Rhyming was not intentional, but hey, I'll go with it!) Maybe you love to plant flowers in your yard every spring or to go skiing with the family every winter. Start now and give some dollars the job of paying for those priorities too. Whatever your personal goals are, make them a priority and go for it!
What changes do I need to make, if any?
​We all know the phrase from the old poem "The best laid plans of mice and men go awry." We can have the perfect plan for our money, and then something will come up, and a priority will change. Does that mean we are stuck? No, it means we can take the opportunity to shift our plan to align with the new priority. We are the ones in charge. We get to decide what we want to do with our money. Does it mean we've failed if we change our plan in the middle of everything? No! It means we got new information and our priorities shifted. That's ok. Make the changes you need to make as you go.

Spenfulness
​Asking ourselves the right questions are going to lead to clarity and contentment with our money. As we give every dollar a job to do in our plan, we can have the confidence to spend in line with our priorities.
We work hard for our money. We put our energy, our time, ourselves into our work. In exchange, we get money. That money is us. We want the ability to spend it, with confidence, on those things that are most important to us. It's called personal finance for a reason - it's personal.
As we gain clarity and confidence, we can feel that oh so wonderful feeling of spendfulness - a state of alignment between how you spend your
money and the life you want to live. Spendfulness doesn’t mean perfection—it means intentionality. It’s about aligning your spending with the things that matter most to you.
What's the next step you can take on your financial journey to get you to the spendfulness kind of life you want to live? Start with one of these five questions and watch how it transforms your mindset—and your money.

If there's one thing I've learned in nearly a decade of coaching people with their spending habits, it's this: money is as emotional as it is logical. We like to think it's all about the numbers, but it's tangled up in feelings—especially guilt. Most of us carry guilt around how we spend or manage money, whether from feeling like we don't have enough, regretting past purchases, or comparing ourselves to others. But today, I want to talk about a mindset shift: a way to break the guilt cycle and replace it with a more empowering cycle of planning, spending, and reflecting.
This guilt often comes from the spend > track > regret cycle. It's when we make a purchase in the moment, track it after the fact, and only then realize it wasn’t the best choice. We didn’t plan for it, and now we regret it. Maybe we saw something we wanted (or felt like we needed) and bought it impulsively. Then we have something more important come up that needs to be paid for. We realize we already spent the money. Then we regret the spending. Or it may look like seeing something we need or want, spending the money, later realizing the item could have cost less elsewhere if we had done our research, then we regret and feel guilt about the spending.
One of the biggest ones my husband and I experienced was with a water softener. Just after our first child was born, we had a water softener salesman show up at our door. Being young and still not very experienced with door to door salesmen, we let him in. He used our new baby to tug on our heartstrings and we agreed to do a whole house system with a water softener and RO water spout in the kitchen. When all was said and done, we went to Lowes and found out that we could have gotten the same things for a quarter of the price. Boy did we feel stupid! We still look back and regret that one, but we’ve had to learn to let it go. That’s when we realized: spending guilt and frustration can cloud our judgment, making us doubt ourselves. But practicing self-compassion, even after mistakes, helps break that cycle.
The water softener example was a large one, but we have had many such regretful spending moments over the years. We had a lot of shame over going into overdraft each month, asking family for a loan, and much more. Over time, with a lot of trial and error, we learned there is a better cycle to be in. The plan > spend > reflect cycle.
With this cycle, we plan our spending BEFORE we spend. We think of all the things we need our money to do for us - going beyond just the day to day, monthly spending. We plan for things like Christmas, car registrations, school fees, and yearly subscriptions year round - not just before they happen. We plan on emergencies or other unexpected things happening. We even have a plan for our kids' weddings before any of them are even close to being married.
Making this plan, having it all laid out in front of us, helps us spend with confidence. We know we can buy that pizza or pay for that car repair and still be able to pay for all of our other expenses - because we have it all planned out. Now, don't get me wrong, we were not planning on weddings and the like right off the bat, but we stuck with what we knew we needed now and in the near future. As more and more things got funded, we were able to expand to include more things in our spending plan. The key difference here is that with the plan > spend > reflect cycle, your spending aligns with what matters most to you—because you planned for it ahead of time. Instead of reacting and regretting, you're in control, making intentional choices that align with your goals. And that’s what takes guilt out of the equation. If we had been following this plan back with that door to door salesman, we would have known that it wasn't part of our plan. We could have updated our plan to include it, done our research, and done it much more cheaply and intentionaly when we were actually ready for that expense.
After we spend, we can reflect on our purchases and not have that same feeling of guilt and shame. Reflection doesn’t mean beating yourself up over past choices. It’s about learning from them and making tweaks to your plan so that you can get even closer to your goals next time. If something didn’t go as planned, adjust and move forward. This is all part of the process.
If you really want to kick spending guilt to the curb, start today by giving every dollar a job. Plan for each dollar, track your spending, and make sure it lines up with that plan. After a week or so of spending, look back. Is your spending in line with what's important to you? If it is, keep going. If it's not, adjust, re-plan, and keep going. Remember, no one taught you how to do this. You can't magically know something you were never taught. You'e got this!

When we talk about and think about money, it can evoke very strong emotions. Sometimes we want to avoid it altogether. Even when we earn enough for our needs, we feel like it's still not enough. In fact, 73% of Americans rank their finances as the number one cause of stress, according to a survey from the American Psychological Association (APA). Often, we feel overwhelmed and stressed. When I talk with people, rarely do they feel hope and joy in their financial situations. Today, I want to dive into some of these emotions and how they can present within the context of money addictions.

1. Spending Addiction
Many of us are familiar with the concept of spending addiction. People who suffer from this often feel the need to spend any money they get and more, usually in an attempt to feel better. This can be seen in individuals who have experienced financial abuse in the past, where they weren't allowed to spend. Once they're free to spend, it can get out of control.

For those dealing with spending addiction, it's essential to seek help and begin by creating a realistic budget. But more than that, using tools like the SMART spending method can help you make intentional choices and curb unnecessary spending. George Kamel’s SMART spending concept offers a simple yet powerful framework:

• S - Self-Awareness: Ask yourself, Is this going to add value to my life? Does it have a purpose?
• M - Motive: Consider, Am I buying this for the right reason? Is this retail therapy or an emotional purchase?
• A - Affordability: Reflect, Is this in my budget?
• R - Research: Ensure, Is this the best quality or price? Have I explored all my options?
• T - Timing: Evaluate, Is this the right time to buy this? Could it wait, considering opportunity costs and priorities?

By pausing to ask yourself these questions, you can break the cycle of impulse spending and make better financial decisions. It can also help to have an accountability partner who can talk you through purchases before you make them, ensuring that your spending aligns with your long-term goals.

Did you know? According to a 2023 study, approximately 6% of the U.S. population may struggle with compulsive buying disorder, with women being disproportionately affected.

2. Debt Addiction
Debt addiction can wreak havoc on financial health. It often looks like someone constantly opening new lines of credit—credit cards, personal loans, payday loans—and using one to pay off another. This behavior often leads to a vicious cycle of debt accumulation, poor credit, and in extreme cases, bankruptcy.

For help:

• Debtors Anonymous is a resource offering support for individuals struggling with debt addiction.
• Create a debt repayment plan and make it a priority to avoid opening new lines of credit.
• Seek financial counseling to manage and reduce debt systematically.

3. Financial Codependence
Financial codependence occurs when individuals feel compelled to give money to others, even to their own financial detriment. A person with this addiction might continually provide financial assistance to friends or family members, draining their own resources. This can lead to stress, resentment, and eventual financial ruin.

Overcoming financial codependence involves:

• Setting healthy boundaries and recognizing when financial help becomes enabling.
• Teaching financial literacy to those you help, so they can become self-sufficient.
• Work with a therapist to address the guilt or obligation associated with helping others financially.

Setting boundaries and helping others learn to manage their own finances can be incredibly empowering for both parties. For those in need, it offers hope and confidence as they gain the skills to handle their money independently. Rather than feeling helpless or dependent, they can take control of their situation and build a stronger financial future for themselves. This approach not only fosters self-reliance but also strengthens relationships, as it shows your loved ones that you believe in their ability to succeed.

4. Money Hoarding
At the other end of the spectrum from these mentioned addictions is money hoarding. This goes beyond simply saving towards goals or being wise with your money. It’s an obsession with holding onto every dollar, driven often by fear. People who hoard money may fear they will never have enough, or that financial security is always just out of reach. This fear can prevent them from spending on even small things that would bring joy or comfort. They may avoid social activities, turn down opportunities to celebrate with friends or family, or refuse to invest in experiences—all because of an overwhelming fear of future financial instability. Relationships can strain as they distance themselves from others to protect their financial resources. 

To overcome money hoarding:

• Acknowledge the fear and Create a balanced budget that allows for both security and enjoyment.
• Set aside a portion for experiences and give yourself permission to spend.
• Recognize your financial safety net and that responsible spending won’t leave you without enough.

By assigning some of your money the job of having fun, you can begin to trust that your future needs will be met without sacrificing the pleasures of today. Learning to trust your budget, will give you the confidence that you can spend and still have enough to cover your needs.

5. Deprivation Addiction
Deprivation addiction looks like intentionally living on the bare minimum, avoiding raises, promotions, or investments that could improve your financial situation. People who exhibit this behavior often feel unworthy of having more, or believe that living with less is a moral virtue.

If you struggle with deprivation addiction:

• Seek therapy to explore feelings of self-worth and address any underlying issues.
• Start small by allowing yourself to enjoy small luxuries within your means.
• Develop a mindset of abundance—recognize that you are deserving of financial comfort and security.

6. Money Hunger
On the other end of the spectrum is money hunger—an obsession with constantly seeking more income, new investments, or business opportunities. While ambition is not inherently bad, it can become problematic when it overshadows other aspects of life, like relationships or mental health.

If you find yourself consumed by the pursuit of more money:

• Evaluate your current financial situation: Often, when we take a close look, we realize we already have more than we thought. Instead of constantly seeking new income streams, ask yourself: Is there more I can do to stretch what I already have? By managing your existing resources more effectively, you may find that you’re already in a much better position than you realized, reducing the urge to always pursue more money.
• Prioritize relationships and experiences that enrich your life beyond financial success.
• Practice gratitude for your current wealth and focus on non-financial forms of richness in life.

Studies suggest that beyond a certain point, earning more money doesn’t increase happiness. In fact, research from Princeton University shows that emotional well-being plateaus at an annual income of around $75,000, depending on where you live.

Money addictions, like any other addiction, can be overwhelming and difficult to manage, but they are not impossible to overcome. Whether it’s working with a financial coach, seeking therapy, or joining a support group, there are many ways to regain control. The key is recognizing these patterns and addressing them before they damage your financial future, relationships, or mental health.

If you're struggling with any of these addictions or know someone who is, don’t hesitate to reach out to a professional therapist or to your financial coach. I’m here to help guide you to financial clarity and empowerment.​

You read that right... I can't stop looking at my budget. And here's why.

Earlier this year, my husband made a huge life decision—he left his 21-year career to pursue a more intentional life, more aligned with personal interests. We LOVED the time we had together during those months of “retirement.” But we also knew it couldn’t last forever. Eventually, we'd need health insurance, and, well... the cash would run out.

After four wonderful months together, he accepted a government job to help meet our family’s needs.

Now, working for the government is very different from working in the tech industry. One of the biggest differences? The pay—it was a significant cut. To say I was nervous is an understatement. We had commitments and family traditions we cherished, and I didn't want to lose them. But with so much less money coming in, how could we make it work?

I even started subscribing to job listings for places I wouldn’t mind working (YNAB, can you hear me?), just in case. I was prepared to give up doing what I love—helping people take control of their finances—if it came down to it.

We didn't want to make any big budget changes until that first paycheck arrived and we knew what we were working with. When it finally did come, I sat down, crunched the numbers, and something amazing happened: I realized that, with a few minor tweaks, we could live within our new income without a problem. I was so excited to share the news with my husband!

That evening, we had a little budget date. I walked him through my plan, and together, we went through the budget line by line—tweaking here, adjusting there—until everything fit. When we were done, I felt an incredible sense of relief. We wouldn’t have to give up our commitments, our favorite traditions, or the things that mattered most to us.

That clarity gave me so much peace and hope, I couldn’t stop looking at the budget. Even now, I find myself opening it up just to admire it. It’s like looking at a piece of art—it represents security, freedom, and the knowledge that we’re going to be okay. Not to mention, I can still keep focusing on my business and helping others find the same peace and hope with their finances.

When people tell me they don’t need a budget, or that budgets are too restrictive, I can’t help but smile. For me, a budget brings freedom, not restrictions. It’s what allows me to feel calm and confident about the future. And that’s made all the difference.

For the past several months, I have enjoyed serving my clients through, not only our one-on-one sessions, but also during my client-only open office hours each month. Since COVID and all the financial repercussions of that time, more and more people are struggling to make ends meet and are not sure how to get the help they need. With this in mind, I’ve decided to open up my office hours to anyone—client or not—who could use a little coaching to help them fall in love with how they spend their money.

Money is so ingrained in our daily lives that sometimes we overlook the power it has. So many of our daily choices, both big and small, are influenced by our financial situation, often without us even realizing it. Whether it's deciding what to eat, where to live, or how to spend our leisure time, money plays a role in shaping our experiences. When we’re not mindful of how we spend our money, it can lead to stress, uncertainty, and a sense of being out of control.

But what if we could change that? What if, instead of feeling anxious about our finances, we could feel confident and at peace? What if we could *fall in love* with the way we spend our money?

As the leaves begin to change and fall approaches, it’s the perfect time to reassess our relationship with money and create a spending plan that aligns with our values and goals. Just like the fall season encourages us to cozy up and enjoy the beauty around us, it can also be a time to embrace a new mindset about our finances. When we fall in love with our spending, we become more intentional, thoughtful, and empowered in our choices. We spend with confidence, knowing that our money is working for us, not against us.

My open office hours are designed to provide a space where you can explore your financial habits, ask questions, and receive guidance on how to create a spending plan that brings you peace of mind. Whether you’re looking to tackle debt, save for a big purchase, or simply gain more control over your day-to-day spending, these sessions are here to support you on your journey.

I also encourage you to spread the word to family and friends who might benefit from this opportunity. Financial peace is something everyone deserves, and by inviting those close to you, you can help them embark on their own path to falling in love with their spending.

So, as we welcome the fall season, I invite you to join me in falling in love with the way you spend your money. Let’s work together to create a financial plan that gives you confidence, clarity, and the peace of mind you deserve.

Office hours will be held every second Wednesday of the month at 10:00am MT (noon on the East Coast and 9:00am on the West Coast). There is no prearranged agenda or topic. Just come, raise your hand, and chat with me. Hope to see you in my office soon!

When it comes to personal finance, it's easy to get caught up in the minutiae of tracking every penny and managing day-to-day expenses. However, without a clear sense of direction, budgeting can feel like a tedious chore rather than a tool for achieving your dreams. That's why it's crucial to begin with the end in mind. This approach not only makes budgeting more meaningful but also ensures that your spending aligns with your values and priorities.

The Power of Dreaming
At the heart of beginning with the end in mind is the concept of dreaming. What do you envision for your future? Do you dream of traveling the world, owning a home, starting a business, or simply achieving financial independence? These dreams provide a roadmap for your financial journey. By identifying your long-term goals, you can create a spending plan that supports and propels you toward those aspirations.

Aligning Spending with Values
Once you've identified your dreams, it's time to dig deeper into your values. What truly matters to you? Is it security, freedom, family, adventure, or personal growth? Understanding your core values helps you prioritize your spending in a way that brings you closer to your goals and increases your overall satisfaction with how you manage your money.

But how do you discover what your values truly are? Here are a few steps to get started:

1. Reflect on Past Experiences: Think about times when you felt happiest and most fulfilled. What were you doing? Who were you with? These moments can provide clues about your core values.
   
2. Identify Non-Negotiables: Consider the aspects of your life that you are unwilling to compromise on. These are often closely tied to your values.

3. Set Priorities: Make a list of what is most important to you in different areas of your life, such as relationships, career, health, and personal growth. This will help you see where your values lie.

Tools to Keep You on Track: YNAB
One of the best tools to ensure your spending aligns with your values and priorities is You Need a Budget (YNAB). YNAB is more than just a budgeting app; it's a methodology that helps you take control of your money and make intentional spending decisions.

YNAB operates on four key principles:

1. Give Every Dollar a Job: This principle encourages you to allocate every dollar you earn to a specific purpose, ensuring your money is working towards your goals.

2. Embrace Your True Expenses: YNAB helps you plan for irregular expenses by breaking them down into manageable monthly amounts.

3. Roll with the Punches: Life is unpredictable, and YNAB teaches you to adjust your budget as needed without feeling like you've failed.

4. Age Your Money: By living on last month's income, you can break the paycheck-to-paycheck cycle and gain more financial stability.

Falling in Love with How You Spend Your Money
Ultimately, the goal of budgeting is to fall in love with how you spend your money. When your spending aligns with your values and priorities, every dollar spent brings you closer to your dreams and enhances your sense of fulfillment. By beginning with the end in mind, you transform budgeting from a mundane task into a powerful tool for living a life that truly reflects what matters most to you.

Conclusion
Starting with the end in mind is not just a strategy for budgeting—it's a mindset shift that can transform your entire approach to money management. By dreaming big, identifying your values, and using tools like YNAB to stay on track, you can create a spending plan that not only supports your goals but also brings joy and satisfaction to your financial journey. Remember, the key is to fall in love with how you spend your money and make every dollar count towards a life you love.

We Did a Thing!
At the end of May, we made a long-time dream come true. For years, I've been wanting to take my kids to see the majestic Redwoods. Yet, it never seemed to become a top priority. Other opportunities and priorities for our time and money always seemed to get in the way. But earlier this year, I had an epiphany: this HAD to be the year and the last week of May HAD to be the time.

Why the urgency? Our family is rapidly growing and changing. My oldest will soon be moving into her first apartment (it's in our basement, but it's still a significant change). Our second just graduated from high school and is heading into new and time-consuming adventures in the fall. Our youngest will be starting high school. And my husband, though retired from his former company, is exploring new fulfilling work opportunities outside the home. This was our window, and I knew we had to seize it.

We had some money in our YNAB budget set aside for vacations. So, one afternoon in the midst of our crazy May, my husband and I did some research and decided that driving the 870 miles and camping would be the most affordable option. We booked the campsite and told our kids to request time off work. We were all super excited for this adventure, even our daughter who has an aversion to bugs and dirt!

The weeks leading up to the trip were packed with end-of-school-year events, finals, graduations, and navigating semi-retired life. It was a busy and stressful time, but whenever one of us mentioned the trip, we all got a hopeful look of excitement, knowing that soon we'd be relaxing in the beautiful surroundings of the Redwoods.

Folks, we were NOT disappointed! It was a dream vacation. With minimal phone reception, we had the chance to truly explore and enjoy the area and reconnect with each other without the distraction of devices. We enjoyed some amazing hikes, great food, and the peace and quiet that the area offered. We even drove our SUV through a tree!

The morning we packed up to leave, I got a little teary-eyed. This was probably the last vacation we would have like this with our family as it is now. I didn't want to leave. If you know me, hearing me say I didn't want to leave CAMPING is saying something. The word that keeps coming to mind when I think of this trip is "sacred." The place, the time, the entire experience felt sacred.

So why am I sharing this with you? Many money gurus would criticize our choice to take this trip. We don't currently have a steady family income coming in. That week was the last week we had medical insurance coverage. We don't have a solid plan yet for replacing the steady income we've enjoyed for the last 21 years. To take that time and spend that money could be seen as reckless by many financial experts. We should be saving that money. We should be using our time to find steady income. We should have our priorities aligned with what they view as important for financial success. Nope!

The best way to find true financial freedom is to ensure your spending aligns with your own priorities and values. We value our family time, so that's where we want our money to go – spending time with family. Now, I'm not advocating for the "I value a trip to Italy with my family, so I'm going to go into more debt to pay for it" philosophy. It's still crucial to avoid debt for many reasons, especially because it doesn't add to your financial freedom; it adds to your slavery. So, if it's something you truly value, save up the money, find ways to make it more affordable, and do the thing!

Taking this trip was a priority for us, and it was worth every penny. It reinforced what we value most: our time together. So, as you plan your finances, remember to prioritize what truly matters to you. Spend intentionally, and you'll find both joy and financial freedom.

The Budget Nerds are some of my favorite people to watch and listen to! I love how they geek out about money and budgeting. They work for YNAB and have a YouTube channel and podcast called Budget Nerds. Ben and Ernie bring a lot of personality to their show and do a great job of explaining and diving into all things YNAB and budgeting.

I am claiming budget nerd status for myself since they mentioned me twice in their show! I can do that, right? The first time they mentioned me was in a show they did giving some fun YNAB tips & tricks they got from YNAB users. You'll see my tip at 25:29 about flagging tax deductible spending in our budget, so we can more easily spot them for tax time. Ben, who was one of my teachers during the YNAB coach certification process, even mentions that I'm a coach. How fun is that?!
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The second time I was privileged to be mentioned was in their episode on Memos in YNAB. I'm a big user of memos in my YNAB budget, so I use them for many different purposes. After hearing them mention memos briefly in one of their episodes, I sent Ben an email explaining all of the ways I use memos in my budget. Fast forward a few months later, and Ben sends me an email telling me that an episode would be coming out of them basically using my email as a script for their episode on memos. I was over the moon about it! Ernie even mentions that they were really getting nerdy with this topic - guess it's ok if I claim budget nerd status then!

Early on in our financial journey to paying off debt and building our finical future, we had the fun opportunity to be featured in a series that CNN Money was doing on people working to pay off their debt. It made our debt pay off plans a little more exciting. All these years later, people still come across the article and mention it to us. This is the short story of how it come to be:
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After filling out a survey my husband came across one day, we were contacted and interviewed by CNN Money about our goal to pay off our debt. We were featured in a series they did called, Debt Busters. Click here to read the article.

​Nearly a year later, they reached out again to do a follow up article about where we were in our process and how we felt about our journey to debt freedom. To read that article, click here.

Things have changed since then, but we are still doing our best to be debt busters and being in control of our money.